Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 33

Chapter 33

"If I don't leave now, I might never be able to."

Had he heard her? Khushi wondered over the next few days? If Arnav had heard her, he gave no clue, no sign of having heard her. Or worse, no sign of wanting to change her mind about leaving. 

She bit her lip and shook herself mentally. "It's a job, just a job,' she told herself again, and then again more firmly, as though by repeating it to herself, she would be able to accept it better. 'It will get over soon. And if I'm here to do a job, I need to do it to the best of my ability. Arnav isn't in a hurry  for me to leave, but I have to be true to my own conscience. I can't stay here for longer than I need to, just because I want to.' 

A few days later, it was the senior Mr. Raizada's birthday. The previous year, it had been barely a couple of months after the tragedy, and the day had been shrouded in a pall of gloom. Mr. Raizada himself had spent it locked in his room, Shantitai told Khushi sorrowfully, almost unable to bear the first birthday without his beloved wife to celebrate it by his side. And his two sons had been too sunk in their own grief to lift their father's spirits, or even notice the date more than cursorily.

But this year will be different, Khushi told Shantitai, and the older woman agreed. Life had to go on. And a birthday was a good day to start. 

A small celebration, Khushi decided. Just for the family. The first celebration after the triple tragedy, it would be an emotional moment for the family, and she wasn't sure how Mr. Raizada or the two younger men would react. It would be best to keep it completely private. She thought of asking Arnav's opinion, but Shantitai advised against it. Let it be a surprise for both the boys too, she told Khushi. Heaven knows, they need a happy surprise in their lives. 

However Shantitai did agree to enlist Shivi's help, much to Khushi's relief. She wouldn't have wanted to go against the older lady's wishes, and it was good to know that Shantitai had not only noticed Shivi's growing closeness with Akash, but also approved of it.

Shivi was reluctant at first. She was still embarrassed after the scene in the garden, and it took all of Khushi's persuasive powers to change her mind. "Do it for me," Khushi pleaded, and Shivi could not say no.

On Mr. Raizada's birthday, they all wished him in the morning, and the old man accepted their wishes with smiles. Khushi was relieved that he seemed cheerful enough, and that encouraged her to go ahead with her plan for the evening. 

They waited till Arnav and Akash came back from office, then sent Radhika to call her grandfather for tea. She went prancing into his room, filled with pride at being part of the secret even her uncles didn't know about.

When she helped her grandfather wheel himself into the room, all three men, father and sons stared in astonishment. The drawing room had been decorated with flowers and streamers. There was a table in the center of the room, with a cake on it.

Khushi and Shivi went up to Mr. Raizada, and helped Radhika wheel him in up to the table. Khushi lighted the candle on the cake, and Shivi held the knife.

"This is the first day of the rest of your life," said Khushi, softly. "You still have a lot to look forward to. We …" she looked at Shivi, and smiled, "… we all hope that there is still much happiness to come in your life, and the ones who are no longer here, are sharing it from wherever they are, and smiling with you. So you must smile, Papaji. You must smile again."

And he did. Through his tears, the old man held out his hands to his sons, who were as stunned as he was, and held them close. After over a year, the three men shared tears again, but this time, of happiness. The three men held the knife, and cut the cake together ... none of them tried to hide their tears. Then still holding them close, he beckoned the two girls. They bent to him, and he gently placed his hand on Khushi's head in silent blessing. She smiled at him through moist eyes.

"Thank you," she said softly. 

Mr. Raizada looked at his sons.

"Your mother …" the old man began, "… always wanted a daughter. She used to say, that my sons are wonderful, but the love and affection of a daughter, is unimaginable and limitless. So I used to tell her – well, wait a few years and we’ll have not one, but three daughters. And what's more, they'll come to you, and you won't have to give them away, for they'll marry your sons, and belong to this house for always. When Poonam came into this house, I realised that your mother was right, for the love that Poonam gave us, was something beyond our experience. And then we got our Radhika, and that was even more precious, the first daughter of this house in three generations. After the accident …" the firm voice faltered slightly, then went on again, "I thought that while my body survived, my soul had died with her, and I could only wait for death to come to me, and re-unite me with my beloved wife, with Ajay and his Poonam, the daughter she had wanted so much. But I had forgotten, in my pain of losing one son, that I still had two more, that I still had my Radhika, and that I could still look forward to the love of two more daughters."

He held his sons’ hands, one in each of his.

“Arnav,” he began. “You’ve kept me going, you’ve kept all of us going. You’ve fought so hard to bring us out of our sorrow, to remind us that we still have so much to live for. I was so sunk in my grief that I just wanted to give up … but you – you never gave up. You fought with us, for us. And you did the best thing for this house that you could ever have done. You brought …”

He turned to Khushi. "You brought this girl. Khushi, my dearest child, I don’t know what to say to you. You're truly the embodiment of your name. You've brought happiness back into this house, my dear girl. You've brought light, and laughter, and love with you, and I can only pray, that what you have brought to all of us, God give you back a hundred-fold."

Khushi smiled tremulously, her cheeks damp. Arnav looked at her, and she could see the emotion in his face, his eyes as they met hers.

Mr. Raizada turned to Akash and Shivi. "Akash … my youngest … always the baby of this house … you have grown so much. This tragedy took away so much, but it made a man out of you. I can see you standing shoulder to shoulder with your brother now … being his strength, his support, his friend – the way Ajay was. I’m so proud of you. And Shivi, I’ve seen you help Akash, be there for him … you have been much more than a friend to him and it’s my fond hope that this silly fellow …” he smiled fondly at Akash, “sees that soon.”

Shivi looked at him, her face changing, and then at Akash.

Akash stopped smiling. He looked steadily at Shivi, and her eyes fell. Then she looked at him again, and her eyes were clear, bright. She looked at his father.

"I hope, uncle," she said, softly, "that what I have learnt from Khushi, I remember wherever I go. She has taught me a lot. This house, this family ... you've all taught me a lot, about love, about family, about being together, about being there for each other, through good times and bad."

He nodded, smiling. The servants brought the food, and they all ate together. And everybody pretended not to notice when after some time, Akash and Shivi were not in the room any more.

They walked in the garden. The night was bright and clear, with wisps of clouds dotting the dark sky. A soft breeze stirred the leaves, and the rustling sound mixed with the chirping of crickets.

Akash walked down the path. After the look he had given Shivi, he hadn't looked at her again, when she had followed him quietly out of the room into the lawns. He walked, brooding, and she waited. This was her last attempt, she had warned Khushi. She had her pride, she told Khushi. If he didn't want her, she would leave.

He looked at her at last.

"I didn't know Dad was so fond of you," he commented.

"It's mutual," she murmured, staring at the leaves she held in her hand.

He looked at her, then looked away.

"Your sister went away," he said suddenly. "Lavanya went away, when Arnav bhai needed her. I haven't forgiven her for that. Not entirely."

She smiled. "I thought you would have, by now," she commented, and he arched an enquiring brow at her.

"If she hadn't gone away, Khushi would not have come here."

He smiled at that. Then he looked at her again. "Do you resent Khushi bhabhi for that? For being here?"

Shivi shook her head.

"I did at first," she admitted. Then with spirit, she added, "But then, so did you, Akash. But now, I know. Lavanya di would never have fitted in here as well as Khushi bhabhi. She would not have managed you all as well as Khushi bhabhi has. Lavu di's going away seems to have been a blessing in disguise for all of you."

"And for you?" asked Akash, staring intently at Shivi in the dim light. 

"I resented her at first," Shivi repeated. "I already told you that. But one can't feel that way about Khushi for too long, can you? She just creeps into your heart. And she's taught me a lot. How to value and cherish love and family, how both can be together, without one hindering the other, without one handicapping the other. She seems to have been born for this house."

He nodded, looking away over the dimly lit lawns. Then he looked back at her.

"And you, Shivi? What are you born for? Have you found your place yet?"

She moved a little ahead of him, and stared out into the distance.

"I thought I had," she said, quietly. "I still don't know."

She looked back at him, and there was a plea in her eyes. He was watching her very steadily, his gaze unwavering.

"Akash," she said, pleadingly. "Why are you doing this? If you don't want me, let me go. Don't …" she caught her breath, "… don't look at me like that. Let me go."

"I'm not holding you," he said, and she gave a laugh, which broke in the middle. She looked down at her hands. The leaves she had been holding were crushed.

"You are holding me, and you don't even know it," she said, desperately. "If you don't want me, let me go, Akash. I can't take this any more. I love you too much. Please, …"

He was close to her then, almost touching her, but not quite. He brought his hands up to her face, and smoothed back the hair from her forehead. She looked up at him, then made to turn away, blindly. He caught her and held her back.

"When I heard what Lavanya said to Arnav," he said, suddenly, his hands gentle on her arms, his thumbs absently caressing her soft flesh, "… about wanting him to go away with her, after all this had happened, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe her, what she was saying. I couldn't believe that this was the girl I wanted my brother to marry - that I was so mistaken in her. That she could feel the way she did. And I thought, that you, her sister, must feel the same way. That for you, too, family was secondary, and you and what you wanted came first. And I couldn't handle that. Before the accident, Ajay was here, both Arnav bhai and I thought of going to America. He wanted to set up the business there, and I wanted to study. But after the accident, there was no question of either of us going away. I thought Lavanya would understand that, none better than her. She had known Ajay, Poonam, Mummy. She had known them cared for them ... or so she said. But she went away ... and she wanted to take Bhai with her. When I knew how she felt, I made up my mind that you were the same. I decided that you too would want to go away sooner or later. I didn't want to take that chance. And in a way, I was punishing you, for what your sister had done."

His hands cupped her face, their touch gentle.

"But you've made me change my mind, haven't you? Over these last weeks, that's what you've been doing. Showing me that in this way, you're nothing like your sister, that you know what I feel, what I want. And that what I want is - you."

 The last words were barely breathed into her mouth, before his lips touched hers, softly, gently. Her arms went around his neck as she clung to him, and his kiss firmed, hardened, as they clung together for what seemed like an eternity.

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 32

Chapter 32 

Shivanya 

Shivi sat down on the sofa, her brain in a whirl.

As she drove home, images flashed through her mind. Akash and her in college together. Akash teasing her, and reducing her to tears. His contrite offering of flowers, his apology when he’d found that she was genuinely upset, the first time she started falling in love with him. Their college picnic on the beach, where she'd gotten knocked over by the waves. He'd helped her to her feet, steadied her, calmed her down after her scare. And then he'd kissed her - their first kiss.

Shivi swerved, lost in memories. She parked the car, and walked onto the sea-front promenade, as the memories continued. They had studied together, laughed together, played together. And when the tragedy had happened, a year ago now, she had been there with him. Lavanya had gone off, she remembered. She had even argued with her sister as to why she was leaving when Arnav needed her, but Lavanya had refused to give up her job, and had left. She, Shivi, had stayed on for her final college year, had tried to be near Akash, comfort him. And he had pushed her away repeatedly, till she had given up in despair that she would ever be able to get through to him.

Then Khushi had called her, Shivi remembered. Called her and asked her to visit Akash, persuade him back to college. Shivi hadn't needed much persuasion, it was something she wanted to do. But when Shivi came with his friends, and tried to talk Akash into coming with them, Khushi had appeared and autocratically refused him permission. College was all right, she had said. I asked you to take him back to college. Not to roam around with you all.

Shivi remembered her utter confusion at Khushi's volte face, and then, her sense of victory as Akash rudely brushed his sister-in-law aside, and left with his friends. At that time, she could not understand Khushi’s behavior, her complete turn around. But now she realised what Khushi had been doing, then and time and again. Pushing and goading Akash towards her, towards his friends, towards back to living life normally. Helping him get over the tragedy and face life again. 

And Akash had realised that now, thought Shivi. He had finally seen through Khushi's barbs and arrows, to the effort behind them to push him back to living life, instead of just existing. Which was why now he was Khushi's slave, why he refused to have anything to do with Shivi, after she had belittled Khushi again and again, just like her sister had. Khushi had not asked for his love and respect, she had just showered him with her own. And she had won him.

And now, it's your turn, thought Shivi to herself. If you want to win him back, you have to give. Give him all the love you have in you. Give your love to his family, that your sister turned her back upon. You have to show him that you're not like Lavanya. That if anything, you're more like Khushi.

Shivi bit her lip as she pondered more. To do that, she thought, you need Khushi on your side. You need her help. You already have her support, if you're ready to show her that you care for Akash enough.

She straightened,her mind made up. 

She came to see Khushi the next day.

"Help me," she said directly. "Will you help me, Khushi bhabhi?"

Khushi smiled warmly at the younger girl. "Do you love him?"

Shivi nodded, biting her lip.

"Enough to fight for him?" asked Khushi gently.  Shivi looked at her questioningly.

"Fight? Fight whom?!"

"Fight Akash, mostly" said Khushi smiling. "Shouldn't be too difficult. His brain might try to fight you, but I have a feeling his heart is on your side. Cliched though that sounds, it's true."

Shivi smiled in spite of herself. She looked at Khushi, hope in her eyes.

"Do you really think so, Bhabhi?"

Khushi put her hands on the younger girl's shoulders. "I do," she said gently. "But the heart has its own ways. I will help you as much as I can, but it's finally between both of you. If you mean as much to him as he means to you. That's for both of you to find out. Are you ready?"

Shivi took a deep breath. She looked at Khushi and nodded firmly.  

"Then do as I say," said Khushi.

So Shivi did. And Akash found, to his extreme annoyance, that he couldn't get her out of his sight, let alone his mind. 

Shivi was everywhere. She at his home every evening, when he got home from office. She was with Khushi in the kitchen, learning Akash's mother's recipes, helping Shantitai. She was with Radhika, helping her with her books, teaching her numbers, colours, running with her in the garden. She was getting his father his medicines, his water, his glasses, wheeling him into the lawn with Radhika.

Enough was enough, thought Akash grimly, when for the tenth time in as many days, he came home from office to find Shivi reading to Radhika in the sitting room. Ignoring her, he cornered his errant sister-in-law in the kitchen.

“What are you up to, bhabhi?” he asked, annoyance in his tone. Khushi looked at him innocently.

“What am I up to? I’m organizing dinner, that’s all. Why?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” he retorted. “Why is Shivi here every day? I told you …”

“She’s doing a course in Home Science,” said Khushi smoothly. “She wanted my help in some recipes. Your mother’s recipes are very good, Akash. I’m helping her try some of them, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” he repeated, not believing her for an instant. “All? Nothing to do with me and that little talk we had the other day?”

“What talk?” Khushi asked innocently, then looked at his skeptical face, and gave an exaggerated sigh. “Ah, that! Well, Akash, that’s up to you, I told you … but she was your friend, so I thought … if she wanted to come over once in a while to spend some time … If you don’t like her, it’s perfectly all right. No one’s forcing you to sit on her lap. She’s just learning some … ”

“Yeah, I know … she’s trying out some recipes,” he said, in a tone which showed exactly what he thought of that excuse, and Khushi grinned unrepentantly.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she said pertly, “I think your brother’s calling me …”

She waltzed out of the kitchen, and Akash was left glaring after her. He knew exactly what Khushi was up to, he thought wrathfully! Once upon a time, she would have been able to fool him, but not any more. When she looked her most angelic, she was at her devious worst. And she was now hell bent on pairing him up with Shivi. I have to disabuse her mind of this latest nonsense, he thought, ignoring the little voice in his head that said he was quite enjoying Shivi's attention!

He went out after tea. Strolling in the garden, he could hear Radhika's high, childish voice, now laughing, now shouting. He heard Khushi answering her, and smiling, he strolled towards the voices.

He bumped into Khushi, as she came down the path.

"What's happening?"

Khushi looked at him, an imp of mischief in her eyes. "We're playing hide and seek," she said, softly. "Akash, you go that side. Let Radhika find you. She'll be very disappointed if she doesn't."

He smiled back at her, and moved down the path. He skirted carefully around the big tree at the bottom, taking care to keep out of Radhika's sight.

"Ooof!"

Shivi had backed into him. She had obviously been playing with Radhika, too. Khushi had omitted to tell him that, he thought grimly, and held Shivi in his arms easily. Both Khushi and Shivi needed a lesson!

Shivi struggled in his arms, and looked up at him, her eyes wide and surprised. Her mouth opened.

"Shhh," he whispered, easily holding her. "Do you want Radhika to find you so quickly. Quiet!"

She quietened and stayed in his arms obediently. He held her tightly against him, and slowly lowered his lips to the nape of her neck. Startled, she looked around at him, and he brought a quick finger to her lips.

For the next few minutes, he had her alone to himself, and he used the time well.  He caressed her, moving his hands over her slowly, his lips over her neck, her shoulder …then he twisted her around in his arms to face him, and continued silently, driving her wild, her arms tight around him, her face buried in his chest to stifle her moans, as his arms roamed her back freely, and his lips tasted her neck, her face, her ears, her lips …

She jerked her head away, breathing hard, and stared into his eyes, her own wide and dilated. He smiled at her, a not very nice smile.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked softly. "Why are you stopping me? I don't mind! Spending a casual evening with a pretty girl in my arms is quite a good idea, isn't it?"

His tone was purposely, coolly casual. She jerked herself out of his arms, and backed away slowly, her hand over her mouth, her head shaking slowly.

"You don't … you can't … mean that …" she said. "It's not casual, Akash, you know it's not! I love you, Akash!"

He shrugged. "All the better for me. Come back, Shivi! I was just beginning to enjoy myself."

She shook her head, her eyes wide and horrified. Then she turned and ran up the garden path to the house, only half seeing Khushi and Arnav as they stood a little way away, stunned at the tableau they were witnessing.

Akash followed Shivi but he paused when he saw his brother and sister-in-law. Khushi put out a hand to him.

"Akash. Be kind."

"Bhabhi, I am not interested. Let her be."

Khushi looked at him distressed, and Arnav put an arm around her. "Khushi, he's a grown man. Let him fight his own battles. He can do it. Have faith."

Akash went on up the path to the house and Khushi looked at Arnav in distress.

"It's my fault, Arnav. I did encourage her. She loves him, and I thought he …"

"Let him be, Khushi," said Arnav gently. "Maybe he's not yet ready. He'll come around in time."

Khushi shook her head. "I don’t want either of them to get hurt,” she said fretfully. “Neither him … nor Shivi.  She does love him. She’s not like … “

She stopped precipitously and stole a look at Arnav. He was looking back at her steadily.

“No,” he agreed softly, almost … lovingly? “She’s not like Lavanya. Funnily, she’s more like you. And Akash will see that sooner or later.”

Her color rose slightly, both at his words and their tone. His arm was still around her and his face was very close in the dim light. She spoke softly, hesitantly.

“Am I pushing him too hard, Arnav? I did so want him to be settled, too."

Arnav led her further into the garden slowly. "Don't worry," he said, softly. "You've accomplished a lot. And that too, in far less time than I had hoped. Give him some more time. He’s very young still. Why are you in such a hurry?"

She smiled uncertainly, her face small. "I have done some good, haven't I, Arnav? Once he is settled, my work here is over."

Arnav looked out into the distance. "Are you in such a hurry to leave?" he asked casually.

Khushi moved away from him, her eyes shadowing.

"If I don't leave soon, I may not be able to leave at all," she said softly, half to herself, then stopped in horror at the direction her thoughts were taking. Had he heard her?

She turned around to see Arnav looking at her. Looking at her steadily, with an expression in his eyes, his face, that made her blood run hot, and her hand tremble.

But before she could say anything, Shantitai came running down the path, calling for her. And the moment was lost.

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 31

Chapter 31

Khushi didn't wait for Akash to talk to Shivanya. As soon as she could, she called Shivanya over to meet her.

Shivanya was hesitant, defensive and inclined to be distrustful. "Why have you called me here?"

Khushi looked directly at her. "I haven't seen you around here for some time. Akash has finished his studies, he's got more free time now. I thought you would be around here more often, we'd see more of you, not less. I was wondering if anything is wrong."

"Ask him why that's so," Shivanya replied rudely. "Why are you asking me?"

"I've already asked him," Khushi said calmly, ignoring the younger girl's rudeness. "I want to know your answer too."

Shivanya looked angrily at her. "It's your fault, and you ask me the reason? You took Lavanya’s place, and now you expect me to be seen here? Am I welcome here any more? Do you want me here? I don't think so."

Khushi sighed. "Look, Shivanya," she said, evenly. "First of all, it's not true that you're not welcome here, at least it's not true that I don't welcome you here in this house. I always have, and I always will, as long as you care for Akash. If you remember, I was the one who called you over to help Akash with his work, his notes ... and I was happy when he went out with you and all his friends. He is happy with you, and Akash's happiness is important to me. So leave me out of this argument. The real question is your feelings, yours and Akash's."

"I don't believe you," replied Shivanya. Her tone was still belligerent, but mixed with some hesitancy. "You're here, aren't you? And Lavu di is not. You've taken her place. So why would you welcome me here? I'm her sister. You won't welcome me here. You won't welcome either of us. We'll never be wanted here because you will make sure of that.

"Who told you that?" countered Khushi. "Lavanya? or Akash? Or did you just think all this up in your own head? Because I know I have never tried to make you feel unwelcome here. On the contrary ... this family is important to me, the happiness of every member of this family matters to me. If Akash is happy with your ... friendship ... if it brings him out of the trauma of last year, I'm happy too. There's nothing I want more."

Shivanya looked down, and then back at Khushi.

"But Akash doesn't seem to think so," she said, hurt and sadness in her tone mixed with the still present anger. "He can't forget that Lavu and I are sisters. I admit Lavu di went away last year, and he is hurt by that ... but I'm not Lavu di. I came when you called me, I helped him as much as I could, I spent time with him ... but all that, it doesn't seem to matter to him now. I'm Lavu di's sister, and that's all that matters." 

Khushi looked sympathetically at the younger girl.

"So that's why he's pushing you away? You know that?"

Shivanya nodded miserably. 

"He told me. He told me that Lavu di had left Arnav bhai last year and gone away. I knew that, of course, but I didn't know Arnav bhai had asked her to stay. Neither did Akash ... then. He knows now ... and he can't forgive di for that. Neither can he forgive me."

Khushi smiled ironically. "First Akash pushed me away, because he loved you, and Lavanya is your sister. Now he's pushing you away, because he cares for me, and you're Lavanya's sister! Strange, isn't it? The way life has a habit of turning us on it's head?"

Shivanya turned away and Khushi couldn’t read her face. "If you know the reason, why are you asking me?" Her tone was belligerent, but the underlying hurt in it was clear.

Khushi turned her around and looked at her firmly. “Shivi ...  can I call you that? Shivi, I don’t want to interfere between you and Akash. I just wanted to say this – if it matters to you, don’t give up. It mattered to me what Akash felt for me, it mattered to me that he should not hate me, so I fought to win his love, his respect. I'm just his sister-in-law! if I'm not mistaken, you want to be much more. You care for him, you love him! If you love him enough, why are you not fighting to win him over? It's not difficult for a woman to win over the man she loves, when he already cares for her. You have to try, you can't just give up."

She turned away.

"That is, of course," she added, "If you want him enough, if you love him enough. That’s your call, Shivi. Think about it.”

Shivi stared at her dumbly. Khushi looked at her seriously.

"You've seen how your sister lost the man she loved. Maybe she didn't love him enough, or maybe her love was not strong enough to accept the rough with the smooth. And there was a lot of rough in his life at that time. The question is, is your love deep enough, strong enough? To accept Akash the way he is, the ups and the downs?"

She half turned away from Shivi.

"I hope it is, Shivi, because he does love you. He’s upset, he feels betrayed because of your sister and what she did to Arnav, and he’s scared because he thinks you might be the same. But he still cares for you. Love is not something you can switch off and on. He really doesn’t want to lose you."

Shivi looked at her, speechless. After some time, she managed to say, in a low voice. "And you don't mind that? You would accept me? Arnav would accept me?"

I won't be here much longer to mind or not, thought Khushi forlornly, and the thought brought a lump to her throat. She swallowed hard, and looked at Shivi again.

"It's not me or Arnav who matter," she said, firmly. "It's you and Akash, and your feelings for each other. If you love him enough, if we all see that he's happy with you, why should we mind that? Why should we not welcome you?"

Shivi spoke one word. "Lavanya."

Khushi sighed and looked at her. "Shivi, can't you understand? This is between you and Akash. Not Lavanya. Not me. Not Arnav. Just you and Akash. Think about it."

She turned and left the room.

Kaise Yeh Rishtey - 30

Chapter 30 

When Arnav came in to dinner, he had showered and changed, his wet hair slicked back from his face. The family was already seated at the dining table, and looked up as he made his entrance.  

"Bath? At this time?" asked his father, surprised, and Arnav nodded, trying his best to look noncommittal.

"It's hot," he said, by way of explanation. "I needed a cold shower."

He could have bitten his tongue out at his choice of words. He looked at Khushi, expecting a look of annoyance or reproach. He wondered if she had felt his arousal in those few moments upstairs, and was wary of what her response would be. He had no doubt that she would be annoyed or worse, even upset. Their bargain had definitely not included any physical relationship, and though those few moments upstairs had been innocent on her part, his response had been anything but innocent.

Khushi wasn't looking at him. She was very carefully concentrating serving his niece the vegetables, but he could have sworn her color was high. As he looked at her, she suddenly looked at him, her teeth biting her lower lip, and equally quickly, looked away again. And this time he wasn't mistaken. Her color was definitely high, her cheeks a delicate shade of rose pink.

Arnav started eating his dinner thoughtfully. There had been no annoyance in that look, no upset. Far from it. So what did that mean? Or am I just being hopeful? He asked himself, and absently passed his brother the salt when he asked for the pickle.

"Arnav bhai? Where are you lost?" Akash asked, surprised. "I wanted the pickle!"

His father chuckled. "That's the sort of thing you normally do, young man," he laughed. "Daydreaming is your forte, especially at the dining table."

"Yes, but I'm …" Akash started, and then stopped. He looked at his brother, his gaze searching. And then, he kept quiet, and finished his meal with a big grin on his face, which remained there throughout the meal, mischief in the looks he threw his brother and Khushi. 

"What is wrong with you, Akash?" asked Khushi finally. "Can you please wipe that big grin off your face? What is so funny anyway?"

Akash grinned wider. "Nothing, bhabhi," he said, innocently, and Khushi gave up. She tried to answer young Radhika's questions, but her mind was wandering. Every time she looked at Arnav, he seemed to be looking at her, and it was doing hell for her equilibrium. Especially after those few moments in his arms upstairs. Even thinking of them made her feel warm all over. Their fight, their argument over Aman and the scene in the garden was forgotten, her whole being lost in the memory of those moments, the feel, the touch of him ...

She concentrated on Radhika and steadfastly refused to look at Arnav any more throughout the meal.

"You still have your numbers homework to finish," she reminded the child. "We'll sit down after dinner and finish it. Your TV went on too long this evening. From tomorrow, no more TV during the week. Only on weekends. We’ll play outside on the swings in the fresh air in the evening – that will be much more fun. And too much TV makes you look so pale and tired."

"Yes, badi mummy," Radhika said, obediently, and continued eating. Khushi looked at the little girl, her heart going out to her. She was so small and scared. The sudden death of her parents in the accident had scarred her psyche badly. It wasn't normal for a girl of this age to be so quiet, so obedient, she thought sadly. Arnav was right. There were a lot of responsibilities in this house.

She bent and kissed Radhika softly on the head, her gesture so spontaneous it even took her by surprise. Slowly this family  had wound their way, individually and collectively into her heart. Radhika looked at her in surprise, and she smiled at her.

"Don't worry, darling," she said, lovingly. "I'll help you with your work. We'll have it done in no time. And we'll have an extra long story session tonight, because you got extra homework today."

Radhika beamed at Khushi. "Really?! What fun! I love your stories, badi mummy! Thank you!" She reached up to kiss her back. 

"But I think badi mummy is right," said Arnav, from the head of the table. "No TV during the week, young lady. You get too tired, and it's a problem with your work. I’ll tell you what … how about we all go to the waterpark this weekend? I’ll take you."  

"You will?" cried the little girl, obviously thrilled, and Arnav smiled at her.

"Yes, I will. Now finish your dinner and badi mummy will help you with your numbers."

Radhika went on with her food in an obviously happier frame of mind, and Khushi saw her father-in-law looking approvingly at her. She smiled back at him, picked up his pills and showed them to him. His smile changed to a frown.

"Khushi, for heavens' sake,…"

"Papaji, you're getting forgetful," she chided gently, and he smiled again, unwillingly.

"Those damn pills," he grumbled. "I always swore I'd never take pills in my life. I'd rather die than be dependent on these silly things."

"If you don't take them, you probably would get your wish," Arnav reminded him.  "But, for our sakes, I'd rather you didn't go anywhere. Not just yet."

His father grinned suddenly.

"No, I won't," he promised. "I have a few things to see to, yet."

"Oh? Like what?" asked Akash, grinning again. "Are you hoping for the patter of tiny feet, dad?"

His father frowned at him. "No, the patter of big ones," he responded, ungrammatically. "In chains, that too. You finish your college, lad, without flunking out, that is, and I'll tie you down to a nice girl so fast, you won't have time to show me those big teeth of yours. Then I'll see how you stay out so late at night the way you do these days."

Akash promptly looked suitably chastened and his father chuckled.

"That is not to say," he continued, apparently addressing the ceiling, "that I will not welcome the patter of tiny feet, of course."

Khushi blushed again, but Arnav was calm.

"Yes, dad, point noted. Now could I have some rice, please?"

                                 ***********************************************************************************************

A few days later - 

Akash raced into the kitchen, where Khushi was busy with something. Radhika was with her as usual, and he loped around them, snatching at a savoury, deftly avoiding Khushi, as she tried to keep the plate away from him.

"Go and wash, Akash! These are for dinner! Akash! Go away!"

He picked up the hot, just fried pakoras, and dropped them back equally swiftly, nursing his finger.

"Ow! It's hot!"

"What do you expect?" Khushi retorted. She took his hand, soothed his burnt finger. Then she relented, and pushed two cooler ones at him. "Here! Take this and go! Always hungry! Don't eat too much. They're for dinner, and they're your brother's favorites."

He made a face at her.

"Yes, of course, always his favourite things for him. When are you going to make my favorite things, bhabhi?"

She made a face back.

"I won't make things for you!" she mocked. "Get your own wife into this house, and she can do some work. Feeding you is going to be a full time job, as it is! Since you've started working at the office, you feel even hungrier than you did before. I feel sorry for her already."

He laughed. "That will take some time! Which poor soul is going to agree to marry me? There's a shortage of crazy girls out there!"
She looked at him, and then continued her work, keeping her tone casual, laughing.

“Why? Look at that pretty friend of yours, Shivanya - she's certainly crazy enough. It would be nice if she came here to help me with your favourite things. You've known her for long enough, she must know more about you than I do. Speaking of Shivanya, I haven't seen her for quite a few days, Akash. I would have thought that after your exams finished, you would be out with her every day."

Akash's mood changed abruptly. He put the second pakora into his mouth, and turned away.

"I'm busy," he said shortly. "I have to help Arnav bhai at the office now. He's carried all the responsibility for too long. Now that my studies are finished, I can help him. I don't have time to go out."

Khushi looked at him carefully.

"You're not that busy, Akash. Or you shouldn't be anyway. And you have the evenings to go out. Evening is the time for romance, isn't it? You work all day, you haven't even taken a break after your exams ended, why don't you take some time off? Spend time with her."

Akash sat down heavily on a kitchen chair. He looked at Khushi, a mixture of sadness and determination in his eyes.

"Bhabhi," he said, heavily. "Please don't talk about her. She's a closed chapter. She's going to be off to America with her sister. I don't know her plans, and I don't want to know them."

"You like her, don't you, Akash?" asked Khushi gently. "Is it more than just liking? Tell me truthfully, Akash."

He looked down at his hands, and then back at Khushi. She came to him and held his hands between hers.

"Tell me, Akash. You would have told your mother if she had been here, wouldn't you? Let me in, Akash. I want you to be happy, you know that. Do you like her?"

His hands moved in hers, twisted, and held hers back. He looked at her, his eyes showing his conflict.

"I did like Shivi, bhabhi. I'm not going to lie. I did ... maybe I still do. But after Lavanya ... and what she did ... I don't trust Shivi. Arnav bhai held this family together when Mom went ... then you came and you helped him. But me ... I didn't do anything to help. After the accident, we all needed to pull together, and I pulled apart. I took long enough to grow up and see sense. I don't want to do anything to tear us apart again, bhabhi. Half the family went in one stroke ... the rest need to be together now. Shivi will join her sister in America. My life is here." 

"Your brother wants you to go to America," said Khushi, softly. "You know that, don't you? He wants you to do your MBA, before you settle down to work full-time. Maybe you can do what he had thought of doing earlier, stay in America, and build up the business there. Then you can be with Shivanya there." 

He shook his head with more determination. 

"I don't want to be with Shivi there." he said firmly. "That is out of the question, bhabhi. And if that's what you and bhai are thinking, then forget it. Shivi is over, finished, bhabhi. Anyone who puts themselves before family, cannot belong in this house. And I will not go to America. My place is here, with you. I will not leave the family and go anywhere. If Shivi wants to go with Lavanya, she is welcome to go. I'm not interested."

Khushi went up to him, gently, and held his hands. 

"Akash, listen to me," she began. "How do you know what Shivi wants to do? Have you asked her? Akash, don't throw love away - it's too precious. I've seen love in that girl's eyes. She loves you very much."

"Bhabhi," Akash said, firmly. "That may be what she says now. Lavanya also said she loved Arnav bhai. You know that, don't you? But her love was selfish. She wanted to take him away from all of us, when he was needed here. And Shivi is her sister. No thanks, bhabhi. These girls only think about themselves and what they want, not about anybody else. Selfishness runs in their family. And that’s not the kind of girl I can love, or be with. I won't take the chance. No, bhabhi, forget Shivi."

"You don't know that she is like her sister," said Khushi, gently. "Her choices may be different. And Akash … maybe Lavanya and Arnav weren’t meant for each other … but maybe Shivanya and you are. Give her a chance. Maybe her choices are different from her sister’s."

Akash shook his head. "How can that be, bhabhi? How can it be that in the same family, two sisters can have different thoughts?"

“They can, Akash,” Khushi said, turning away, the faces of her father and brother rising to her mind. She had managed to almost forget them for so long, she marveled … but was Akash right? She had always felt herself to be so different from them … but was she really? She hoped so, she hoped so fervently, she thought. She couldn’t imagine them in this family, in these surroundings, whereas she … she felt she would lose her life’s breath if she had to leave here … when she had to leave here, she corrected herself dully. She turned to Akash again.

“They can be different,” she said again, and her tone was half-pleading. “Please Akash, give her a chance.”

He looked at her, puzzled by the emotion in her voice. "Bhabhi?"

She put her hands around his face.

"One chance, Akash?" she asked softly. "You owe her that much. She has done a lot for you over the last few months, she’s been there for you all the time … why would she have done that if she didn’t love you? care for you? It took just one phone call from me, and she was here. Ask her what she feels, what she wants. Don't assume things, or you may regret it later. You call me bhabhi, don't you? Then treat me like your bhabhi, listen to me and do me this favour, please, Akash."

He held her hands in his own, his face gentle as he looked at her.

"Bhabhi?"

She shook her head at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. He held her close.

"Please, bhabhi, please don't cry. I promise, I'll do as you say. I've given you too many tears already, I don’t want to give you any more."

She held him tightly, but the tears were not for him. I see my job coming to an end, she thought, miserably. I seem to have succeeded too well. If Shivanya is back in Akash’s life, and maybe in this house, he won’t need me any more. Then maybe Lavanya will reconsider her own decision as well, and I will have to leave. This family will be complete again, and there will be no place for me in it.