Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 35

Chapter 35

Khushi called the child's name softly, "Radhika? Gudiya?"

There was no answer.

Khushi combed the house from top to bottom, calling all the time. She met Arnav, then Akash, both also searching vainly. Akash was accompanied by a frantic Shivi.

"Why did she react like that, Akash?!" she cried, her cheeks wet with tears. "I thought she liked me! Why was she so upset at our news?"

Akash shook his head, equally baffled, his face troubled, and they moved on into the garden, still calling the little girl's name.

Arnav went up the stairs to the terrace. Khushi went into Radhika's room. She was not there. Khushi moved slowly to her own room, calling Radhika's name all the time. She entered the room, and looked around. Nothing. She called again, "Radhika?"

No answer. She looked around the quiet room. All was still. She turned to leave, then caught a movement out of the corner of her eye, and whirled around.

The door to the terrace stood slightly ajar. The curtain fluttered in the breeze.

Khushi moved towards the door, and stepped out into the terrace.

"Radhika?"

No answer.

"Radhika, beta, where are you?" Khushi's voice held panic, which she struggled to hide, desperate not to alarm the child if she heard her. "Please, Radhika, don't do this! Come back to me, baby! Radhika, my sweetheart, my darling, where are you?"

She saw a slight flicker of movement at the corner of the terrace, and move towards it swiftly. She reached the edge of the terrace, and looked over. Then she gasped in sheer horror, and let out a strangled scream.

"Radhika! Arnav! Arnav!!!"

Radhika's small hand was clutching the foot of the railing. Her scared face looked up at Khushi through the decorative bars, a mixture of relief and panic in her eyes.

"Badi mamma? I'm scared."

Clamping down firmly on her own panic, Khushi spoke as calmly as she could.

"Don't be scared, my darling, I'm here now. How did you get there? Doesn't matter now. Just stand up, and hold my hands. I'll get you over and back with me. Come, my baby, don't worry now …"

After her first scream of panic, Khushi swiftly gathered her cool. Radhika had climbed over the terrace railing, and was clinging to the parapet outside, a narrow ledge that ran all the way around the terrace, a foot or so below the level of the terrace. How she had managed to get there, Khushi didn't know. Without stopping to think, she quickly climbed over the railing to join the little girl on the narrow parapet.

She held tightly to Radhika's hands, but they were moist with sweat, and slipping. Khushi's voice rose slightly, as she fought to control her panic. "Hold tight, baby, please, just hold tight .."

She held the child's hands, and spoke slowly and clearly, fighting to keep her voice calm, clear.

"I'm holding you tight, baby. You won't fall. Just listen and do as I tell you. Come into my arms, yes, that's right."

She worked the little girl slowly into her arms, turned her around, and held her tight. Her voice was clear, loud.

"I'm going to lift you up now, Radhika. I won't let you fall. Hold on to the railing, and climb over it. You won't fall. I'm holding you. Just climb over, and get to the other side, onto the terrace …"

She wanted to get radhika to safety as quickly as she could. Had Arnav heard her? she wondered hazily, and then fought to concentrate on the child. Her hands were shaking as she tried to lift the little girl to the level of the terrace. But her hands were slippery as well, and Radhika nearly fell. She clung to Khushi, as she murmured instructions to her, trying to keep panic out of her voice.

"Arnav!" Khushi called, softly, and then louder, hoping against hope he was nearby. She held the little girl close to her. Radhika clung to her like a limpet, her eyes wet.

"I can't, badi mummy. I can't!" she cried.

"Wait, Radhika. It's all right. I've got you. You won't fall. I can't quite get you over, so we'll wait. Arnav papa will come soon, I'm sure."

The little girl nodded, and clung tight to Khushi. Khushi looked at her closely, the first wave of panic subsiding, and the memory of Radhika's strange reaction to Akash and Shivi's news came flooding back.

"But, Radhika, sweetheart, tell me ... why did you run away? Were you not happy to hear about Akash chacha getting married? Why did you get so upset?"

Radhika gulped a little, and snuggled close. "Promise you won't get mad at me?" she asked in a small voice. Khushi held her tight.

"I can never get mad at you, you know that," she said, softly, gently, and the little girl relaxed.

"I was hiding in the garden the other evening," she said softly. "I heard you telling bade papa that when Akash chacha gets married, you'll go away from here. I don't want him to get married, if you'll go away! Why do you have to go away? I don't want you to go away! You're my badi mummy, you have to stay with me! You don't have a small baby with Godji! Why ….?"

"It's okay, sweetheart, I've got you now," said a clear, calm voice, and Arnav's face appeared over the railing, looking down at both of them anxiously. Khushi looked up at him, and as though he had spoken, she knew what he wanted. Quietly, without words, she held Radhika tight, and turned her around, so that she was facing Arnav. He held the little girl's arms tightly, as Khushi firmed her grip on her waist, and pushed her up. Together, they pushed and pulled the frightened child over the railing into Arnav's arms.

He held the little girl close to him in a tight embrace for a long moment. Then he let her gently down on the floor of the terrace. "All right now?" he asked her and the little girl nodded.

"Badi mummy," was all she said, and Arnav nodded, smiling faintly, as he reached back over the balcony to help Khushi. Then he looked again, his face changing.

"Khushi!"

Khushi had collapsed on the tiny ledge. After the release of tension, the relief of seeing Radhika safe, her hands and legs seemed to have given way. She was trembling uncontrollably, her entire body shivering. One small hand clutched at the railing, and Arnav's hand closed over it urgently, as he tried to control the wild panic that swept through him. For Radhika, he had kept his cool, but if anything happened to Khushi … if she slipped …

"Help me, Khushi! I need your help! You have to get up, and I'll pull you over. Get up, Khushi!"

His words, and the urgency of his voice, penetrated through to Khushi. She looked up at him, her face wet. Tears mixed with rain stained her face. It had started raining again, and the railing was even more slippery.

Slowly, painfully, urged by his voice, she got to her feet, struggling to stay stable on the narrow, slippery belt of concrete, Arnav’s hands steadying her through the bars of the railing. As soon as she was upright, Arnav's arms went around her, hooking under her arms, as, with a strong heave, he half pulled, half-lifted her over the railing. They both landed on the floor of the terrace, locked in each other's arms, rolling over the damp stone.

Khushi clung to him, almost fainting. The tension of being stuck on the narrow ledge, the panic of seeing Radhika there, in danger of falling off, and the tidal wave of relief that had flooded through her on seeing Arnav, seemed to have robbed her of all the bones in her body. Arnav held her tightly, his face against hers, cheek touching cheek, hands roaming her back fiercely, as he strained her to him. For a while … for a while he had thought that she would fall, and he wouldn’t be able to save her … the sheer panic of those moments made him shudder as he held her. Khushi clung back, her hands clenched on his shirt, her face buried in his shoulder.

Finally, Arnav recovered a semblance of calm and loosened his hold on her. Pulling back, he looked at her face, pushing the hair back from her cheek.

"You little idiot," he said, without heat. "You could have fallen and broken your bones. Both of you," he added, looking at Radhika.

Khushi looked at him, her trembling lessening.

"I knew you'd come," she said, simply.

He managed to get to his feet, pulling Khushi with him. Wordlessly, he drew her into his arms again, pulling her close. For what seemed like an eternity, he held Khushi tight, and she clung to him. She didn’t care what he read into her closeness, didn’t care what it might lead to … she needed this, needed him and she was oh, so tired of fighting to hide her feelings. The warmth of his chest under her cheek flooded through her, banishing the ice that had encased it when she saw Radhika on the parapet.

Then Arnav bent down to be level with Radhika's eyes. He looked at the little girl steadily.

"Whatever you may have heard badi mummy and myself saying," he said, softly, but very firmly, "… she is not going away from here. Do you understand that, sweetheart? Sometimes grownups say things, which children don't, or can't understand. But you must remember one thing. Badi mummy is not going away anywhere. This is her home. She is not leaving this house."

Khushi looked at Arnav, dumbfounded. So he had heard what Radhika had said to her, after all. He got up again, slowly, and looked at Khushi.

"You are my wife," he repeated, his eyes holding hers. "You are not leaving this house. No one will ask you to leave here."

She looked at him, wordlessly, and he looked back at her steadily. What was in his eyes? she wondered frantically. Was he saying what he was saying to reassure a frightened child? Or was he trying to tell her, Khushi, something, as well?

She didn't know, and she was too bewildered to figure it out. Slowly, stumbling over the words, she added her own reassurance to Arnav's voice, and they helped the child inside and back to the drawing room, where they called the others, and finally congratulated Akash and Shivi on their news.

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 34

Chapter 34

When Akash and Shivi went back inside to the living room, Radhika was entertaining her grandfather and Khushi with songs from her school. There was no sign of Arnav.

Khushi looked up as the two of them entered. A small smile came to her lips, and her eyes danced merrily. Shivi went to her, and hugged her.

Akash looked at his father, and cleared his throat nervously. His father looked at him in surprise. "What's the matter, Akash?"

"Where's Arnav bhai?"

"He had a phone call," answered Khushi. "Why?"

"I … I have something to say to you all," replied Akash. "I'll call bhai."

Khushi nodded, her eyes twinkling. And when Akash left the room in search of his brother, she looked at Shivi, with a question in her eyes. Shivi nodded slightly, coloring furiously, and Khushi's face broke into a wide smile.

Meanwhile, Akash went in search of Arnav. He heard his voice emanating faintly from the study, and made his way there.

Arnav was on the phone, his face serious. He waved a hand at Akash, gesturing him to wait, and Akash stood impatiently, waiting to give his news. Then he forgot about his news, as he heard his brother's end of the conversation, with growing surprise, followed by shock.

"Right," said Arnav. "So you've got all the papers? The birth certificates - both of them? Shyam’s and Khushi’s? And the names? … OK, that proves it then, I think, pretty comprehensively. Have you managed to trace the payments? Oh, that's great news, Vijay! Where … And the names? Any names? Any leads there?"

He listened for a while, then spoke again, and his voice was grim. "Are you sure? They're both dead? No other relatives? Nobody who can vouch for the fact that she is their grand-daughter?"

He listened again, then spoke softly, "So she is alone, after all. I was hoping against hope … Try, Vijay. Please try again. See if there is anybody else, even remotely related. Check on Mayur Singh and his wife again. Maybe they are not dead. Maybe one or the other survived the accident. Or maybe that was just a ruse. Maybe they just put that news about, to stay incognito. Check it out, Vijay. Try to find them. They'll recognize Khushi, if they see her. She's the splitting image of her mother. Vijay, just try again. Go there yourself, to the old house. Don't rely on any reports. I don't want you to come back till the last hope is gone."
He listened to the other man, then spoke again, urgently. "Wait! Vijay, do one thing. Contact Mahendra Shah, and ask him to go with you. He is their old friend, very close. He can pull strings, ask questions that you can't ask. And he will be happy to go with you when you tell him what you've found out. Yes, call me back when you have any news. Day or night, any time. I want to know at once, as soon as there is any news."

He put down the phone, and turned to face Akash.

"Yes, Akash, what is it?" he asked, but the question was mechanical, uninterested. Akash came further into the room.

"Bhai, what was that all about?" he asked. "What is this about Khushi bhabhi? What is the matter?"

Arnav sighed. "It's a long story, Akash. I'll tell you one day. But don't mention anything to Khushi, not yet. I don't want to get her hopes raised, and then dashed, if we can't find anything. Now, what did you want?"

Akash remembered his news, and smiled slightly. He cleared his throat, nervous again.

"Umm, I …. Er …."

Arnav looked at him in surprise. "What's the matter with you? Cat got your tongue? Anyway, let's get back to the others. They must be wondering where we are."

Akash accompanied his brother into the corridor. Arnav was pre-occupied, lost in his own thoughts, and Akash said no more till they reached the drawing room, where the others still waited.

Then he looked at his brother and his father. His father looked at him impatiently. 

"Well? Akash, what is it? What are you being so secretive about?"

Akash cleared his throat again. 

"I …er… no, not secretive, Dad. I just wanted to tell you that Shivi and I have decided that … er   maybe …. We … might like to ….that is, we want to …"

"Oh, god, Akash!" exclaimed Khushi. "For god's sake, get on with it! Shivi and you …what? Either you've made up, or you've broken up! Which is it?"

Akash looked at her, exasperated. "I'm trying to tell you, aren't I? You have no patience, bhabhi!"

"I have no patience?!" Khushi exclaimed. "When the last few weeks, I'm the one who's ….!"

She stopped precipitately, and clapped her hand over her mouth. Akash and Arnav looked at her. Akash grimly, Arnav with a mix of exasperated amusement.

"I know exactly what …" began Akash.

"We know very well what you've been up to!" said her husband sternly, trying not very successfully to hide his grin. Khushi looked at them both, her expression apologetic, though her eyes danced.

"Well, left to himself, you would have spent the whole of this birth, and half the next …" she began, and then giggled as both looked at her threateningly. "Akash! I only gave you a slight push! You were going in that direction, anyway!"

Akash shook his head at her, and then smiled at a blushing Shivi, kneeling next to their beaming father. Arnav allowed his grin to show through fully.

"Thanks to my busybody wife, your welcome to the family hasn't been exactly conventional, Shivi," he said, "but she's right. Akash was headed this way anyway. He just needed not a push, but a shove in the right direction. Which she was happy to supply. Welcome to the family, Shivi."

Akash looked at his brother and his father, and grinned widely. Shivi blushed even pinker, and hugged Radhika, hiding her face in the little girl's frock. Radhika looked at them all in bewilderment.

"What's happening, chacha? Why are you all scolding badi mamma? Why is chacha being pushed?"

Arnav smiled at the little girl, and picked her up.

"We're not scolding badi mamma, sweetheart. We're just teasing her for being a little naughty. And Akash chacha is going to marry Shivi aunty, so she'll come and live here with us, and be your chachi. Akash chacha was being pushed to do that, and he's finally done it."

Radhika looked at them all, and her face crumpled. "No! No, I don't want chacha to do that!" she screamed out, and pushing against Arnav, she scrambled down from his lap, and ran from the room, leaving everyone in the room completely stupefied.

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 33

Chapter 33

"If I don't leave now, I might never be able to."

Had he heard her? Khushi wondered over the next few days? If Arnav had heard her, he gave no clue, no sign of having heard her. Or worse, no sign of wanting to change her mind about leaving. 

She bit her lip and shook herself mentally. "It's a job, just a job,' she told herself again, and then again more firmly, as though by repeating it to herself, she would be able to accept it better. 'It will get over soon. And if I'm here to do a job, I need to do it to the best of my ability. Arnav isn't in a hurry  for me to leave, but I have to be true to my own conscience. I can't stay here for longer than I need to, just because I want to.' 

A few days later, it was the senior Mr. Raizada's birthday. The previous year, it had been barely a couple of months after the tragedy, and the day had been shrouded in a pall of gloom. Mr. Raizada himself had spent it locked in his room, Shantitai told Khushi sorrowfully, almost unable to bear the first birthday without his beloved wife to celebrate it by his side. And his two sons had been too sunk in their own grief to lift their father's spirits, or even notice the date more than cursorily.

But this year will be different, Khushi told Shantitai, and the older woman agreed. Life had to go on. And a birthday was a good day to start. 

A small celebration, Khushi decided. Just for the family. The first celebration after the triple tragedy, it would be an emotional moment for the family, and she wasn't sure how Mr. Raizada or the two younger men would react. It would be best to keep it completely private. She thought of asking Arnav's opinion, but Shantitai advised against it. Let it be a surprise for both the boys too, she told Khushi. Heaven knows, they need a happy surprise in their lives. 

However Shantitai did agree to enlist Shivi's help, much to Khushi's relief. She wouldn't have wanted to go against the older lady's wishes, and it was good to know that Shantitai had not only noticed Shivi's growing closeness with Akash, but also approved of it.

Shivi was reluctant at first. She was still embarrassed after the scene in the garden, and it took all of Khushi's persuasive powers to change her mind. "Do it for me," Khushi pleaded, and Shivi could not say no.

On Mr. Raizada's birthday, they all wished him in the morning, and the old man accepted their wishes with smiles. Khushi was relieved that he seemed cheerful enough, and that encouraged her to go ahead with her plan for the evening. 

They waited till Arnav and Akash came back from office, then sent Radhika to call her grandfather for tea. She went prancing into his room, filled with pride at being part of the secret even her uncles didn't know about.

When she helped her grandfather wheel himself into the room, all three men, father and sons stared in astonishment. The drawing room had been decorated with flowers and streamers. There was a table in the center of the room, with a cake on it.

Khushi and Shivi went up to Mr. Raizada, and helped Radhika wheel him in up to the table. Khushi lighted the candle on the cake, and Shivi held the knife.

"This is the first day of the rest of your life," said Khushi, softly. "You still have a lot to look forward to. We …" she looked at Shivi, and smiled, "… we all hope that there is still much happiness to come in your life, and the ones who are no longer here, are sharing it from wherever they are, and smiling with you. So you must smile, Papaji. You must smile again."

And he did. Through his tears, the old man held out his hands to his sons, who were as stunned as he was, and held them close. After over a year, the three men shared tears again, but this time, of happiness. The three men held the knife, and cut the cake together ... none of them tried to hide their tears. Then still holding them close, he beckoned the two girls. They bent to him, and he gently placed his hand on Khushi's head in silent blessing. She smiled at him through moist eyes.

"Thank you," she said softly. 

Mr. Raizada looked at his sons.

"Your mother …" the old man began, "… always wanted a daughter. She used to say, that my sons are wonderful, but the love and affection of a daughter, is unimaginable and limitless. So I used to tell her – well, wait a few years and we’ll have not one, but three daughters. And what's more, they'll come to you, and you won't have to give them away, for they'll marry your sons, and belong to this house for always. When Poonam came into this house, I realised that your mother was right, for the love that Poonam gave us, was something beyond our experience. And then we got our Radhika, and that was even more precious, the first daughter of this house in three generations. After the accident …" the firm voice faltered slightly, then went on again, "I thought that while my body survived, my soul had died with her, and I could only wait for death to come to me, and re-unite me with my beloved wife, with Ajay and his Poonam, the daughter she had wanted so much. But I had forgotten, in my pain of losing one son, that I still had two more, that I still had my Radhika, and that I could still look forward to the love of two more daughters."

He held his sons’ hands, one in each of his.

“Arnav,” he began. “You’ve kept me going, you’ve kept all of us going. You’ve fought so hard to bring us out of our sorrow, to remind us that we still have so much to live for. I was so sunk in my grief that I just wanted to give up … but you – you never gave up. You fought with us, for us. And you did the best thing for this house that you could ever have done. You brought …”

He turned to Khushi. "You brought this girl. Khushi, my dearest child, I don’t know what to say to you. You're truly the embodiment of your name. You've brought happiness back into this house, my dear girl. You've brought light, and laughter, and love with you, and I can only pray, that what you have brought to all of us, God give you back a hundred-fold."

Khushi smiled tremulously, her cheeks damp. Arnav looked at her, and she could see the emotion in his face, his eyes as they met hers.

Mr. Raizada turned to Akash and Shivi. "Akash … my youngest … always the baby of this house … you have grown so much. This tragedy took away so much, but it made a man out of you. I can see you standing shoulder to shoulder with your brother now … being his strength, his support, his friend – the way Ajay was. I’m so proud of you. And Shivi, I’ve seen you help Akash, be there for him … you have been much more than a friend to him and it’s my fond hope that this silly fellow …” he smiled fondly at Akash, “sees that soon.”

Shivi looked at him, her face changing, and then at Akash.

Akash stopped smiling. He looked steadily at Shivi, and her eyes fell. Then she looked at him again, and her eyes were clear, bright. She looked at his father.

"I hope, uncle," she said, softly, "that what I have learnt from Khushi, I remember wherever I go. She has taught me a lot. This house, this family ... you've all taught me a lot, about love, about family, about being together, about being there for each other, through good times and bad."

He nodded, smiling. The servants brought the food, and they all ate together. And everybody pretended not to notice when after some time, Akash and Shivi were not in the room any more.

They walked in the garden. The night was bright and clear, with wisps of clouds dotting the dark sky. A soft breeze stirred the leaves, and the rustling sound mixed with the chirping of crickets.

Akash walked down the path. After the look he had given Shivi, he hadn't looked at her again, when she had followed him quietly out of the room into the lawns. He walked, brooding, and she waited. This was her last attempt, she had warned Khushi. She had her pride, she told Khushi. If he didn't want her, she would leave.

He looked at her at last.

"I didn't know Dad was so fond of you," he commented.

"It's mutual," she murmured, staring at the leaves she held in her hand.

He looked at her, then looked away.

"Your sister went away," he said suddenly. "Lavanya went away, when Arnav bhai needed her. I haven't forgiven her for that. Not entirely."

She smiled. "I thought you would have, by now," she commented, and he arched an enquiring brow at her.

"If she hadn't gone away, Khushi would not have come here."

He smiled at that. Then he looked at her again. "Do you resent Khushi bhabhi for that? For being here?"

Shivi shook her head.

"I did at first," she admitted. Then with spirit, she added, "But then, so did you, Akash. But now, I know. Lavanya di would never have fitted in here as well as Khushi bhabhi. She would not have managed you all as well as Khushi bhabhi has. Lavu di's going away seems to have been a blessing in disguise for all of you."

"And for you?" asked Akash, staring intently at Shivi in the dim light. 

"I resented her at first," Shivi repeated. "I already told you that. But one can't feel that way about Khushi for too long, can you? She just creeps into your heart. And she's taught me a lot. How to value and cherish love and family, how both can be together, without one hindering the other, without one handicapping the other. She seems to have been born for this house."

He nodded, looking away over the dimly lit lawns. Then he looked back at her.

"And you, Shivi? What are you born for? Have you found your place yet?"

She moved a little ahead of him, and stared out into the distance.

"I thought I had," she said, quietly. "I still don't know."

She looked back at him, and there was a plea in her eyes. He was watching her very steadily, his gaze unwavering.

"Akash," she said, pleadingly. "Why are you doing this? If you don't want me, let me go. Don't …" she caught her breath, "… don't look at me like that. Let me go."

"I'm not holding you," he said, and she gave a laugh, which broke in the middle. She looked down at her hands. The leaves she had been holding were crushed.

"You are holding me, and you don't even know it," she said, desperately. "If you don't want me, let me go, Akash. I can't take this any more. I love you too much. Please, …"

He was close to her then, almost touching her, but not quite. He brought his hands up to her face, and smoothed back the hair from her forehead. She looked up at him, then made to turn away, blindly. He caught her and held her back.

"When I heard what Lavanya said to Arnav," he said, suddenly, his hands gentle on her arms, his thumbs absently caressing her soft flesh, "… about wanting him to go away with her, after all this had happened, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe her, what she was saying. I couldn't believe that this was the girl I wanted my brother to marry - that I was so mistaken in her. That she could feel the way she did. And I thought, that you, her sister, must feel the same way. That for you, too, family was secondary, and you and what you wanted came first. And I couldn't handle that. Before the accident, Ajay was here, both Arnav bhai and I thought of going to America. He wanted to set up the business there, and I wanted to study. But after the accident, there was no question of either of us going away. I thought Lavanya would understand that, none better than her. She had known Ajay, Poonam, Mummy. She had known them cared for them ... or so she said. But she went away ... and she wanted to take Bhai with her. When I knew how she felt, I made up my mind that you were the same. I decided that you too would want to go away sooner or later. I didn't want to take that chance. And in a way, I was punishing you, for what your sister had done."

His hands cupped her face, their touch gentle.

"But you've made me change my mind, haven't you? Over these last weeks, that's what you've been doing. Showing me that in this way, you're nothing like your sister, that you know what I feel, what I want. And that what I want is - you."

 The last words were barely breathed into her mouth, before his lips touched hers, softly, gently. Her arms went around his neck as she clung to him, and his kiss firmed, hardened, as they clung together for what seemed like an eternity.

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 32

Chapter 32 

Shivanya 

Shivi sat down on the sofa, her brain in a whirl.

As she drove home, images flashed through her mind. Akash and her in college together. Akash teasing her, and reducing her to tears. His contrite offering of flowers, his apology when he’d found that she was genuinely upset, the first time she started falling in love with him. Their college picnic on the beach, where she'd gotten knocked over by the waves. He'd helped her to her feet, steadied her, calmed her down after her scare. And then he'd kissed her - their first kiss.

Shivi swerved, lost in memories. She parked the car, and walked onto the sea-front promenade, as the memories continued. They had studied together, laughed together, played together. And when the tragedy had happened, a year ago now, she had been there with him. Lavanya had gone off, she remembered. She had even argued with her sister as to why she was leaving when Arnav needed her, but Lavanya had refused to give up her job, and had left. She, Shivi, had stayed on for her final college year, had tried to be near Akash, comfort him. And he had pushed her away repeatedly, till she had given up in despair that she would ever be able to get through to him.

Then Khushi had called her, Shivi remembered. Called her and asked her to visit Akash, persuade him back to college. Shivi hadn't needed much persuasion, it was something she wanted to do. But when Shivi came with his friends, and tried to talk Akash into coming with them, Khushi had appeared and autocratically refused him permission. College was all right, she had said. I asked you to take him back to college. Not to roam around with you all.

Shivi remembered her utter confusion at Khushi's volte face, and then, her sense of victory as Akash rudely brushed his sister-in-law aside, and left with his friends. At that time, she could not understand Khushi’s behavior, her complete turn around. But now she realised what Khushi had been doing, then and time and again. Pushing and goading Akash towards her, towards his friends, towards back to living life normally. Helping him get over the tragedy and face life again. 

And Akash had realised that now, thought Shivi. He had finally seen through Khushi's barbs and arrows, to the effort behind them to push him back to living life, instead of just existing. Which was why now he was Khushi's slave, why he refused to have anything to do with Shivi, after she had belittled Khushi again and again, just like her sister had. Khushi had not asked for his love and respect, she had just showered him with her own. And she had won him.

And now, it's your turn, thought Shivi to herself. If you want to win him back, you have to give. Give him all the love you have in you. Give your love to his family, that your sister turned her back upon. You have to show him that you're not like Lavanya. That if anything, you're more like Khushi.

Shivi bit her lip as she pondered more. To do that, she thought, you need Khushi on your side. You need her help. You already have her support, if you're ready to show her that you care for Akash enough.

She straightened,her mind made up. 

She came to see Khushi the next day.

"Help me," she said directly. "Will you help me, Khushi bhabhi?"

Khushi smiled warmly at the younger girl. "Do you love him?"

Shivi nodded, biting her lip.

"Enough to fight for him?" asked Khushi gently.  Shivi looked at her questioningly.

"Fight? Fight whom?!"

"Fight Akash, mostly" said Khushi smiling. "Shouldn't be too difficult. His brain might try to fight you, but I have a feeling his heart is on your side. Cliched though that sounds, it's true."

Shivi smiled in spite of herself. She looked at Khushi, hope in her eyes.

"Do you really think so, Bhabhi?"

Khushi put her hands on the younger girl's shoulders. "I do," she said gently. "But the heart has its own ways. I will help you as much as I can, but it's finally between both of you. If you mean as much to him as he means to you. That's for both of you to find out. Are you ready?"

Shivi took a deep breath. She looked at Khushi and nodded firmly.  

"Then do as I say," said Khushi.

So Shivi did. And Akash found, to his extreme annoyance, that he couldn't get her out of his sight, let alone his mind. 

Shivi was everywhere. She at his home every evening, when he got home from office. She was with Khushi in the kitchen, learning Akash's mother's recipes, helping Shantitai. She was with Radhika, helping her with her books, teaching her numbers, colours, running with her in the garden. She was getting his father his medicines, his water, his glasses, wheeling him into the lawn with Radhika.

Enough was enough, thought Akash grimly, when for the tenth time in as many days, he came home from office to find Shivi reading to Radhika in the sitting room. Ignoring her, he cornered his errant sister-in-law in the kitchen.

“What are you up to, bhabhi?” he asked, annoyance in his tone. Khushi looked at him innocently.

“What am I up to? I’m organizing dinner, that’s all. Why?”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” he retorted. “Why is Shivi here every day? I told you …”

“She’s doing a course in Home Science,” said Khushi smoothly. “She wanted my help in some recipes. Your mother’s recipes are very good, Akash. I’m helping her try some of them, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” he repeated, not believing her for an instant. “All? Nothing to do with me and that little talk we had the other day?”

“What talk?” Khushi asked innocently, then looked at his skeptical face, and gave an exaggerated sigh. “Ah, that! Well, Akash, that’s up to you, I told you … but she was your friend, so I thought … if she wanted to come over once in a while to spend some time … If you don’t like her, it’s perfectly all right. No one’s forcing you to sit on her lap. She’s just learning some … ”

“Yeah, I know … she’s trying out some recipes,” he said, in a tone which showed exactly what he thought of that excuse, and Khushi grinned unrepentantly.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she said pertly, “I think your brother’s calling me …”

She waltzed out of the kitchen, and Akash was left glaring after her. He knew exactly what Khushi was up to, he thought wrathfully! Once upon a time, she would have been able to fool him, but not any more. When she looked her most angelic, she was at her devious worst. And she was now hell bent on pairing him up with Shivi. I have to disabuse her mind of this latest nonsense, he thought, ignoring the little voice in his head that said he was quite enjoying Shivi's attention!

He went out after tea. Strolling in the garden, he could hear Radhika's high, childish voice, now laughing, now shouting. He heard Khushi answering her, and smiling, he strolled towards the voices.

He bumped into Khushi, as she came down the path.

"What's happening?"

Khushi looked at him, an imp of mischief in her eyes. "We're playing hide and seek," she said, softly. "Akash, you go that side. Let Radhika find you. She'll be very disappointed if she doesn't."

He smiled back at her, and moved down the path. He skirted carefully around the big tree at the bottom, taking care to keep out of Radhika's sight.

"Ooof!"

Shivi had backed into him. She had obviously been playing with Radhika, too. Khushi had omitted to tell him that, he thought grimly, and held Shivi in his arms easily. Both Khushi and Shivi needed a lesson!

Shivi struggled in his arms, and looked up at him, her eyes wide and surprised. Her mouth opened.

"Shhh," he whispered, easily holding her. "Do you want Radhika to find you so quickly. Quiet!"

She quietened and stayed in his arms obediently. He held her tightly against him, and slowly lowered his lips to the nape of her neck. Startled, she looked around at him, and he brought a quick finger to her lips.

For the next few minutes, he had her alone to himself, and he used the time well.  He caressed her, moving his hands over her slowly, his lips over her neck, her shoulder …then he twisted her around in his arms to face him, and continued silently, driving her wild, her arms tight around him, her face buried in his chest to stifle her moans, as his arms roamed her back freely, and his lips tasted her neck, her face, her ears, her lips …

She jerked her head away, breathing hard, and stared into his eyes, her own wide and dilated. He smiled at her, a not very nice smile.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" he asked softly. "Why are you stopping me? I don't mind! Spending a casual evening with a pretty girl in my arms is quite a good idea, isn't it?"

His tone was purposely, coolly casual. She jerked herself out of his arms, and backed away slowly, her hand over her mouth, her head shaking slowly.

"You don't … you can't … mean that …" she said. "It's not casual, Akash, you know it's not! I love you, Akash!"

He shrugged. "All the better for me. Come back, Shivi! I was just beginning to enjoy myself."

She shook her head, her eyes wide and horrified. Then she turned and ran up the garden path to the house, only half seeing Khushi and Arnav as they stood a little way away, stunned at the tableau they were witnessing.

Akash followed Shivi but he paused when he saw his brother and sister-in-law. Khushi put out a hand to him.

"Akash. Be kind."

"Bhabhi, I am not interested. Let her be."

Khushi looked at him distressed, and Arnav put an arm around her. "Khushi, he's a grown man. Let him fight his own battles. He can do it. Have faith."

Akash went on up the path to the house and Khushi looked at Arnav in distress.

"It's my fault, Arnav. I did encourage her. She loves him, and I thought he …"

"Let him be, Khushi," said Arnav gently. "Maybe he's not yet ready. He'll come around in time."

Khushi shook her head. "I don’t want either of them to get hurt,” she said fretfully. “Neither him … nor Shivi.  She does love him. She’s not like … “

She stopped precipitously and stole a look at Arnav. He was looking back at her steadily.

“No,” he agreed softly, almost … lovingly? “She’s not like Lavanya. Funnily, she’s more like you. And Akash will see that sooner or later.”

Her color rose slightly, both at his words and their tone. His arm was still around her and his face was very close in the dim light. She spoke softly, hesitantly.

“Am I pushing him too hard, Arnav? I did so want him to be settled, too."

Arnav led her further into the garden slowly. "Don't worry," he said, softly. "You've accomplished a lot. And that too, in far less time than I had hoped. Give him some more time. He’s very young still. Why are you in such a hurry?"

She smiled uncertainly, her face small. "I have done some good, haven't I, Arnav? Once he is settled, my work here is over."

Arnav looked out into the distance. "Are you in such a hurry to leave?" he asked casually.

Khushi moved away from him, her eyes shadowing.

"If I don't leave soon, I may not be able to leave at all," she said softly, half to herself, then stopped in horror at the direction her thoughts were taking. Had he heard her?

She turned around to see Arnav looking at her. Looking at her steadily, with an expression in his eyes, his face, that made her blood run hot, and her hand tremble.

But before she could say anything, Shantitai came running down the path, calling for her. And the moment was lost.

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 31

Chapter 31

Khushi didn't wait for Akash to talk to Shivanya. As soon as she could, she called Shivanya over to meet her.

Shivanya was hesitant, defensive and inclined to be distrustful. "Why have you called me here?"

Khushi looked directly at her. "I haven't seen you around here for some time. Akash has finished his studies, he's got more free time now. I thought you would be around here more often, we'd see more of you, not less. I was wondering if anything is wrong."

"Ask him why that's so," Shivanya replied rudely. "Why are you asking me?"

"I've already asked him," Khushi said calmly, ignoring the younger girl's rudeness. "I want to know your answer too."

Shivanya looked angrily at her. "It's your fault, and you ask me the reason? You took Lavanya’s place, and now you expect me to be seen here? Am I welcome here any more? Do you want me here? I don't think so."

Khushi sighed. "Look, Shivanya," she said, evenly. "First of all, it's not true that you're not welcome here, at least it's not true that I don't welcome you here in this house. I always have, and I always will, as long as you care for Akash. If you remember, I was the one who called you over to help Akash with his work, his notes ... and I was happy when he went out with you and all his friends. He is happy with you, and Akash's happiness is important to me. So leave me out of this argument. The real question is your feelings, yours and Akash's."

"I don't believe you," replied Shivanya. Her tone was still belligerent, but mixed with some hesitancy. "You're here, aren't you? And Lavu di is not. You've taken her place. So why would you welcome me here? I'm her sister. You won't welcome me here. You won't welcome either of us. We'll never be wanted here because you will make sure of that.

"Who told you that?" countered Khushi. "Lavanya? or Akash? Or did you just think all this up in your own head? Because I know I have never tried to make you feel unwelcome here. On the contrary ... this family is important to me, the happiness of every member of this family matters to me. If Akash is happy with your ... friendship ... if it brings him out of the trauma of last year, I'm happy too. There's nothing I want more."

Shivanya looked down, and then back at Khushi.

"But Akash doesn't seem to think so," she said, hurt and sadness in her tone mixed with the still present anger. "He can't forget that Lavu and I are sisters. I admit Lavu di went away last year, and he is hurt by that ... but I'm not Lavu di. I came when you called me, I helped him as much as I could, I spent time with him ... but all that, it doesn't seem to matter to him now. I'm Lavu di's sister, and that's all that matters." 

Khushi looked sympathetically at the younger girl.

"So that's why he's pushing you away? You know that?"

Shivanya nodded miserably. 

"He told me. He told me that Lavu di had left Arnav bhai last year and gone away. I knew that, of course, but I didn't know Arnav bhai had asked her to stay. Neither did Akash ... then. He knows now ... and he can't forgive di for that. Neither can he forgive me."

Khushi smiled ironically. "First Akash pushed me away, because he loved you, and Lavanya is your sister. Now he's pushing you away, because he cares for me, and you're Lavanya's sister! Strange, isn't it? The way life has a habit of turning us on it's head?"

Shivanya turned away and Khushi couldn’t read her face. "If you know the reason, why are you asking me?" Her tone was belligerent, but the underlying hurt in it was clear.

Khushi turned her around and looked at her firmly. “Shivi ...  can I call you that? Shivi, I don’t want to interfere between you and Akash. I just wanted to say this – if it matters to you, don’t give up. It mattered to me what Akash felt for me, it mattered to me that he should not hate me, so I fought to win his love, his respect. I'm just his sister-in-law! if I'm not mistaken, you want to be much more. You care for him, you love him! If you love him enough, why are you not fighting to win him over? It's not difficult for a woman to win over the man she loves, when he already cares for her. You have to try, you can't just give up."

She turned away.

"That is, of course," she added, "If you want him enough, if you love him enough. That’s your call, Shivi. Think about it.”

Shivi stared at her dumbly. Khushi looked at her seriously.

"You've seen how your sister lost the man she loved. Maybe she didn't love him enough, or maybe her love was not strong enough to accept the rough with the smooth. And there was a lot of rough in his life at that time. The question is, is your love deep enough, strong enough? To accept Akash the way he is, the ups and the downs?"

She half turned away from Shivi.

"I hope it is, Shivi, because he does love you. He’s upset, he feels betrayed because of your sister and what she did to Arnav, and he’s scared because he thinks you might be the same. But he still cares for you. Love is not something you can switch off and on. He really doesn’t want to lose you."

Shivi looked at her, speechless. After some time, she managed to say, in a low voice. "And you don't mind that? You would accept me? Arnav would accept me?"

I won't be here much longer to mind or not, thought Khushi forlornly, and the thought brought a lump to her throat. She swallowed hard, and looked at Shivi again.

"It's not me or Arnav who matter," she said, firmly. "It's you and Akash, and your feelings for each other. If you love him enough, if we all see that he's happy with you, why should we mind that? Why should we not welcome you?"

Shivi spoke one word. "Lavanya."

Khushi sighed and looked at her. "Shivi, can't you understand? This is between you and Akash. Not Lavanya. Not me. Not Arnav. Just you and Akash. Think about it."

She turned and left the room.