Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 44

Chapter 44

It was a few months later.

The last rays of the setting sun cast a warm golden glow over the corner of the lawn where three elderly people sat chatting with the ease of old friends. Near them, on the brightly colored swings and slides, a little girl played happily, while another child, a toddler, swung on the tiny swing under the watchful eyes of her mother. The mother’s slight limp was almost unnoticeable, as she pushed her child gently to and fro, and then looked up as two girls came out from the house bearing trays. She started forward toward them, but Khushi motioned her back.

“Anjali, watch Sonal … she’s on the swing …”

“Let me help,” Anjali protested, and Shivanya also waved her back.

“It’s fine … you watch the kids … that little devil … don’t know what she gets up to … Radhika, don’t do that!” as Radhika tried to shimmy up the side of the slide.

“I can do it!” Radhika protested, but Khushi shook her head at the little girl as she placed her tray carefully on the table, and Radhika obediently came away, making a face.

“I can do it, mamma,” she tried again and Khushi smiled at her.

“I know you can, sweetie, you're a big girl now. But I need your help for some important work … can you hand the tea cups to dadaji, and nanasar and nanisar?”

Radhika cheered up at the importance of the job entrusted to her, and handed the cups one by one very carefully to the older people, who watched her fondly.

“I looked after Sonal,” she told Khushi importantly. “Anjali aunty went to answer the phone, so I looked after Sonal. I was very careful.”

Shivi gave Anjali a look of ‘here we go again’ and Anjali smiled mischievously. Khushi exchanged a look with her grandmother and waited. Sure enough, it came soon. Radhika came up to Khushi, her little face serious, and held her hand trustingly.

“I can look after your baby, mamma. I’m very good … and res… resposibible. Please can I have a sister? Even my friend Kanika has got a baby sister. I want one too.”

“What about if it’s a brother?” asked a male voice, very amused, and the girls looked around in surprise. Arnav and Akash had joined them unnoticed, still in their office clothes. It was Akash who had voiced the question, and his face showed his amused enjoyment of his sister-in-law’s heightened color. She shook her head at him. Arnav came up to her and kissed her cheek.

Radhika’s face showed her horror at Akash’s idea.

“I don’t want a boy! Boys are nasty!” she exclaimed, and Arnav chuckled.

“So the war is still on, is it?” he asked Khushi in a soft voice, and she nodded, smiling back.

“Full swing! Today apparently public enemy Master Kunal pushed her while she was on the swing in school and she got a microscopic scratch. He’s on her hit list. As are all boys, as of now,” she added with a grin, and the others all chuckled.

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” said her grandmother, also with a mischievous look which made her look much younger and strongly like her granddaughter. “Soon enough, she’ll like boys, and that’s when the troubles will start.”

“I don’t like boys,” said Radhika firmly, understanding only the last part of the conversation. “I’d rather have a puppy, then.”

“So it’s a sister or a puppy?” asked Akash, his grin widening. “Bhabhi, she’s not giving you much choice, is she?”

Khushi laughed and Arnav slipped his arm around her and hugged her lightly.

“You wait,” he told his brother. “Once you and Shivi are married, she’ll start on you too. Laugh all you like right now!”

Khushi’s grandfather chuckled, then looked at Akash.

“When are you both getting married?” he asked. “Don’t leave it too long, son. I’d like to attend while I can still walk on my own feet. At the rate you’re both going …”

It was Shivi’s turn to blush slightly, as Akash grinned unrepentantly.

“I’d get married tomorrow if her parents would agree,” he remarked and added “… and my father. But dad wants me to finish MBA first, so we’ll wait a bit. And now that Lavanya’s wedding date is fixed, her parents want to finish that off first. Older daughter and all that.”

Khushi’s grandparents nodded understandingly. Khushi looked at Arnav a little nervously. It was the first time Lavanya’s wedding had been mentioned since the phone call two days ago giving them the news. But Arnav was looking unconcerned and as she looked at him, he looked back and blew her a kiss.

“Quite right,” remarked his father. “Akash and Shivi are still young. There’s no hurry.”

“I like that!” Akash exclaimed. “Ajay was just this age when he got married …”

There was a small silence, then his father said softly. “Yes, he was. If he was here, he’d be the first to tell you to go ahead …”

“No, he wouldn’t,” said Arnav firmly, breaking the slight somberness that had crept into the atmosphere. “He’d say, Akash, take my advice … stay single … be happy, and let Shivi be happy too!”

They all laughed and his father added, “Yes, and Poonam would say … why didn’t you say that during our time … what was the big hurry then?!”

The atmosphere lightened again and the talk became general. After some time Anjali got up to leave with her daughter, and Khushi accompanied her to her car.

“We’re thinking of adopting a baby,” Anjali told Khushi softly when they were out of earshot of the others. “Aman is very keen that Sonal not be the only child. Both of us are only children, and it gets very lonely. At least Sonal has Radhika now, and she just loves it, loves coming here to play with her. But when she goes back home, she keeps calling for Radhika. I think she really misses her. She’s just over one now … maybe in another year or so, we’d really like to have a second one.”

Khushi nodded understandingly. Anjali had taken the loss of her ability to have any more children very bravely, she thought with a pang. 

“I agree,” she told Anjali equally softly. “Radhika loves it too, but she also hates it when Sonal leaves. That’s why all these pleas for her own sister. She keeps telling me that if she had a real sister, they could be together all the time and she wouldn’t have to leave. I think it’s a good idea, Nina. Only children do get lonely.”

Anjali looked at her hesitatingly. “Khushi, do you know … could you help? We don’t know where to go … an orphanage … a children's home ... where? We would really like to give some child a home too. We're lucky, we have so much. If we could have another child, we probably wouldn't have thought about this, but now it seems  it's God's way of telling us we should share our blessings. ”

Khushi smiled. "That's a lovely way of looking at it, Anjali," she said sincerely. She looked down, then looked back at Anjali.

"You know I was a foster child for most of my life," she said hesitantly, and Anjali nodded. 

"I didn't even know it at the time," said Khushi. "But now that I look back, I was so lucky, Anjali. Lucky that Baba and his wife took me and my mother in when they did, lucky that they continued to look after me for so many years ... I know I found my grandparents so many years later, but all through those years, I had a stable home, someone I called family. That feeling is so precious, that stability is so important. If you can give some orphan child that, along with the love, you will give a child a life as surely as though you gave birth to him or her."

Anjali nodded, her eyes warm, moist. 

"If we get another Khushi, we will be blessed," she said, and impulsively hugged the other girl. Khushi smiled, her eyes as moist as Anjali's. 

"So ... where? How can we go about this, Khushi? How do we even start?"

Khushi thought for a bit. “What you could do,” she said slowly, “if you want to go that way … is register at the hospital. They know you – go talk to the lady in the Social Service department. She’s Mrs. Khanna, tell her I sent you. She would know when babies born in the hospital to unwed mothers or some such problem, and are given up for adoption. That way you could get a newborn baby and look after it from birth. Or else, if you want to check out the orphanage … the hospital looks after one in Mahabaleshwar. I could check on that if you like.”

Anjali nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll speak to Aman,” she told Khushi. “I'll discuss it with him, and see what he says. Thanks, Khushi. We’ll see you tomorrow, then.” 

She turned to get into her car. Behind them, Shantitai came out of the house with the phone and approached the group of people sitting in the lawn.

“For Khushi bhabhi … from the hospital,” she told Arnav and he took it, and spoke briefly into the phone. As Khushi came back to the group, he held it out to her.

“Your auntyji is back again,” he said with a grin and she looked at him reprovingly as she took the phone. Her grandfather looked at Arnav questioningly as Khushi moved away to speak.

“What aunt is this?”

Arnav grinned. “Oh, she’s a very sweet lady … one of Khushi’s patients. You know what a soft heart Khushi has. This poor woman has been admitted three four times in the last few months – she has an alcoholic husband who keeps beating her up. She lets out her heart to Khushi. Talks to her for hours. I think she has no one in her family who’s very close. And Khushi of course …”

“Will always be there to listen and help,” nodded Khushi’s grandmother, a mixture of pride and love in her voice. Arnav nodded and turned as Khushi came back to the group, her face concerned.

“Arnav … I think I need to go to the hospital. She’s admitted again …”

“He beat her again?” Arnav asked, taking in Khushi’s worry, and she shook her head, her face blank.

“No … she tried to commit suicide.”

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 43

Chapter 43 

Later that day, Shantitai came looking for Khushi, the latter's cell phone in her hand. She ran Khushi to earth in the garden, where she was showing a fascinated Radhika a small birds’ nest the gardener had found earlier that morning.

Khushi looked around as Shantitai came panting up.

“It’s Arnav bhaiya,” said Shantitai accusingly. “For the fifth time today. Bhabhi, just keep the phone with you – he’s calling every two hours. Is everything all right?”

Khushi blushed slightly and nodded as she took the phone. "It was on charging," she murmured apologetically to the older lady, and waited for Shantitai to leave before she spoke into the phone.

“What took you so long?” Arnav asked in an irate tone. “Don’t you want to speak to me?”

“Arnav!” she protested, half-laughing. “You’ve called six times today.”

“So who’s counting?” he returned. “I’m talking to my wife – do you mind? What are you doing? You didn't go to work today, what have you been doing?”

“I’m in the garden,” she told him as Radhika jumped up and down and made frantic gestures that she wanted to speak to Arnav. “I needed some time to myself. Radhika's back from school now, we’re looking at a bird’s nest … here, wait, speak to Radhika. She wants to tell you something.”

She passed the phone to an excited Radhika, who started talking almost before putting the receiver to her ear.

“Bade papa! We saw a birds’ nest! It’s got eggs! Mamma says they’ll have baby birds! Can I have one?”

She was dropping the ‘badi’ from ‘badi mamma’ more and more frequently, Arnav thought absently. “Sweetheart, the babies have to stay with their mother for some time. All babies need their mummy, you know that, don’t you?

“So can I have your baby then?” asked Radhika blithely, and Khushi almost choked. “It can stay with mamma, but I can play with it. I’ll be careful, bade papa … please!”

“We’ll think about it,” Arnav promised, restraining his chuckle with an effort. “Let me ask badi mamma about it … give her the phone, sweetheart.”

Radhika handed the phone back to Khushi happily and moved closer to the nest, the gardener keeping an eagle eye on her. Khushi held the phone to her ear, still speechless, and heard Arnav give way to his laughter at the other end.

“Stop laughing,” she told him crossly.

“Why? Don’t you like Radhika’s idea?” he asked mischievously, and she blushed again. He seemed to see her through the wire.

“You’re blushing, aren’t you?’ he asked softly and she heard him chuckle.  

“I’m coming home early,” he said, his tone changing, becoming more serious. “Your grandmother called. She’s waiting to see you again, Khushi. And your grandfather does too. He’s old … I think we should go.”

Khushi nodded, her smile fading. “I’ll be ready,” she said, her voice a nervous thread. She heard him sigh on the other side.

“I’ll be with you,” he said gently. “Why are you worrying so much?”

“I don’t know,” she said unhappily. “Why didn't they call me? She hasn't spoken to me since yesterday. Only to you. Does she really want to know me after all these years?" 

"Maybe she's as nervous as you are," said Arnav gently. "Maybe it's their own guilt that's stopping them from reaching out to you directly. They thought you were happy enough ... they did keep track of you, even from a distance. In their circle, among their friends, your mother running away with their employee was a matter of shame for them. And when they got over that, the added guilt of having turned you away as a baby. It's hard for them too, Khushi."

Khushi nodded, still hesitant.

"I do understand, Arnav ... at least, I'm trying to understand. But after all these years ... What if my grandfather hasn’t forgiven my mother yet? What if he doesn’t want to know me? If it’s only my grandmother who …”

“It’s his loss if that’s so,” said Arnav firmly. “You have a home and a family, Khushi. You have me, you have all of us. If he doesn’t want you, it’s completely his loss. You’re not dependent on him … for anything. Go for your grandmother’s sake. She’s always wanted to know you … she tried her best all these years to make sure you didn't lack for anything ... and she did succeed in many ways. You couldn't have had a better education if you'd been with them. She did that for you. They did that for you. Give them a chance.”

She nodded, swallowing. Arnav was right, of course he was. It was her own insecurities, her own feelings of abandonment, of being unloved, unwanted ... those feelings she had tried to hide away in a corner of her heart ... those were surfacing now as she struggled to confront her past, her reality.

Khushi was ready and waiting when Arnav arrived home. He kissed her as usual when he entered, a light casual kiss. Back in their room, though, he took her into his arms and looked deeply into her eyes.

“Did I imagine last night?” he asked her softly. “I love you, Khushi. I’ve been wanting to say it for so long …”

“So have I,” she confessed shyly, her colour rising again. “It was killing me to think about going aw…”

He kissed the words away from her lips before she could complete her sentence. Then he kissed her again. They spent the next five minutes completely lost in each other, till a firm rap on the door made Arnav look up with a resigned sigh. Akash entered, an apologetic look on his face.

“Phone call,” he said, looking at Khushi. “It’s your grandmother, bhabhi. She’s asking when you’re …?”

“We’re on our way,” said Arnav quickly. “Come, darling.”

Khushi’s heart warmed at his casual use of the word. As she made to move after him, Akash caught hold of her arm.

“You won’t leave, will you, bhabhi?” he asked urgently, and Khushi stared at him, then questioningly at Arnav.

“I told him,” Arnav said apologetically. “Yesterday. I was worried as hell, and I … No, Akash, Khushi is not going to leave. Not now, and not ever. Her job is over. Now she’s just … my wife.”

Akash looked at Khushi as though for confirmation and she nodded, her color high. A big grin came over Akash’s face.

“I knew it!” he said exultantly. “I knew it! I knew bhai was talking rubbish! You not love him! It was plain as the nose on your face that you both were crazy about each other …”

Ignoring their embarrassed faces, he gave them both a big hug.

“We’d better go,” said Arnav firmly. “Before this boy says any more …”

“You mean you have more secrets?” teased Khushi pertly, and he chuckled.

“I’ll tell you when we’re alone,” he promised, a glint in his eye, and she blushed again.

Her grandparents had checked in at a small but very exclusive hotel nearby. A liveried servant, wearing a Rajasthani pugri was waiting downstairs in the lobby for them. As soon as they entered, he came up to them and without a word escorted them to the lift.

“We’re …” Arnav began, slightly puzzled at the lack of introductions, and the man nodded.

“You look like Garima didi,” he said simply to Khushi, and Arnav’s puzzlement cleared. Khushi clutched his hand nervously as the lift rose and then came to a stop, and he pressed it reassuringly.

Prayukta Singh was waiting at the door as they entered the suite. And an elderly man, his face wrinkled, his eyes rheumy, sat stiffly on the sofa, his eyes fixed on Khushi as she entered. As he took in her face, her features, the cloudy eyes filled and a small tear trickled down one wrinkled cheek. He held out his hand stiffly to Khushi, and after a quick look at her grandmother, Khushi went forward and took it, kneeling beside him.

“Garima,” he said, his voice thick. “Garima.”

He couldn’t say any more. He held her close to him, his arms coming around her slowly. Then he released her and held her slightly away from him looking into her face.

“I’m sorry, child,” he said slowly. “Forgive me? We left you with those people … for so many years …”

“Nanaji?” whispered Khushi, and he shook his head, a slight smile showing through the tears.

“Nanasar,” he corrected. “You must learn the Rajput ways of addressing your family now … isn’t it, Prayukta?” raising his voice to his wife, who was watching the two of them with tears in her own eyes. Khushi's heart warmed at the word 'family' ... her family ...her own family.

“Indeed it is,” Prayukta said, and she came forward to Khushi. “And we will teach you … everything. You will be with us …. make up for all those years … we want to get to know you – and you, to know us.”

Khushi looked at Arnav swiftly and surprised a look of consternation on his face, so comical that she almost laughed aloud.  

“She’ll visit you every day,” he promised quickly. “Are you going to stay here long? Khushi would love to get to know you …”

“We plan to move back here,” said Mayur Singh. “She is our child. Our only living family. Maybe Khushi can stay with us a few days? Give us some time with her? We’ve just found her, Arnavji …”

Arnav looked at Khushi. “So have I,” he said softly and she smiled and looked down. He turned to her grandparents.

“My niece can’t do without her,” he said apologetically. “But Khushi will visit you every day …”

“Your niece can come with her,” said Mayur Singh, and Khushi caught a glimpse of the autocratic man he must have been twenty years ago. But Arnav was a match for him.

“She’s the heart of our house,” he said, smiling at the old man to take the edge off his refusal. “We … all … can’t manage a single day without her. But she … and Radhika … will visit you every day. Now that you're moving here, you have all the time in the world to get to know each other.”

Khushi smiled and let Arnav argue with her grandfather, his possessiveness battling with the older man’s tenacity, and a feeling of being wanted, being loved, covered her like a blanket of warmth.

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 42

Chapter 42

Khushi woke up a few hours later, stretching sleepily.

It was still dark, the sky pitch black outside. For a brief moment, she wondered where she was, an unfamiliar weight over her waist pressing her down. She moved slightly, wincing at the soreness she felt, and the weight moved, pulling her closer – Arnav’s arm across her as he pulled her to him in his sleep, and the events of the last day – and night – came flooding back. A deep red stained her cheeks, as she remembered … the darkness hid her blushes as she tried to free herself. She had said a lot, she remembered, as the memory of her own voice came back to her, and she tried to move away from his restraining arm.

But Arnav wasn’t having any of it. Even in sleep, he seemed to sense her movements. He pulled her closer to him again.

“Where are you going?” he muttered sleepily.

Khushi blushed again in the dark.

“I … I …”

Arnav reached out to switch on the bedside light and looked at her in the soft glow. A small satisfied smile grew on his face as he watched her go pink.

“Did you know you go bright pink when you blush?” he murmured teasingly, putting out a gentle finger to her cheek. “Will you always blush like this when I look at you? Especially after we …”

Khushi went pinker still and he gave a low chuckle.

“You’re not going anywhere now, Khushi” he said softly, sobering. “You know that, don’t you? Do you still not understand why I did what I did? Why I wanted to find your family – your real family? Why I wanted to make sure that you would never feel alone or unloved again in your life? Do you still not understand, Khushi?”

This time it was she who came back into his arms, who held on to him as tightly as she could.

“I thought … I thought it was because you wanted me to go … you still love Lavanya …” she began, and he shook her slightly.

“Then you’re a fool,” he told her firmly, smiling. “if you can still think that … after last night especially ...”

She blushed again and hid her face against his chest. He lifted it with a gentle finger.

“Oh no, you don’t,” he told her, smiling still, but with a look in his eyes which made her feel warm all over. “First you say it again … what you said last night …”

"What I said, when?" she asked, shyly. "I seem to remember saying a lot of things, which I'm not sure you wanted to hear."

"I want to hear everything you have to say," he returned, "but for the moment, three small ... but very important ... words will do."

Khushi looked up at him shyly, slowly letting a small flame of hope flicker into life inside her.

"I love you," she said, softly, hesitantly. "I know it wasn't part of the bargain, but I love you, Arnav. I fell in love with you a long time back, Arnav. I don't even remember how long back."

He let out a long breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding. He looked at her mock-severely.

“Do you realize,” he asked sternly, his eyes gleaming, “… just how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you? You’ve led me quite a dance, sweetheart. And given me heartburn in the process. When I saw you with Aman that day … I could have killed …”

Khushi burrowed her head against him again.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Arnav, you were right about Aman. I don’t think I was ever in love with him. It was just as you said. I was sorry for him and I admired the way he looked after his wife, with so much love and care. I envied that love, I wanted it for myself. But I didn't love him. I never did, not the way I love you.”

He held her close, a feeling of thankfulness sweeping over him, so grateful that he didn’t realize he hadn’t told her … yet. She looked up at him, alarmed at his silence.

"Arnav?" she said, tentatively.  "Arnav, please say something. You're not angry or upset, are you? I promise you it doesn't change anything. I'm not asking for your love, I promise I won't demand anything. I'll stay, or go away, whatever you want. You found a home for me, after all. But I can't hide it any more. I don't want to hide it any more."

He looked at her. "Khushi, when did you fall in love with me?"

Khushi was startled. That wasn't what she was expecting.

"I don't know," she said, carefully, thoughtfully. "I can't remember when I started loving you. It just happened. I knew the day you got angry when you saw me with Aman, I knew I was already in love with you, so I didn't feel upset or guilty that you had seen me. He had just told me that he loved Anjali, that he would never leave her … and I … told him that I didn’t love him because I …”

"You told him that day?" asked Arnav, mock-angrily. "The day I almost killed him for holding your hands in a very public place? Khushi, you do choose your moments, don't you? You told him, but you didn't tell me?"

Khushi looked at him warily, then relaxed at the glint in his eyes. 

"I should have told you," she agreed naughtily. "If his life had really been in danger, I would have had to. But then you didn't try to kill him after all, so I figured it could wait." 

He shook his head at her, and kissed her hand. 

"Besides," Khushi continued with some spirit, "You had Lavanya flitting around you, trying to worm her way back into your life. Telling me in every which way she could, that she had a history with you, which might not remain history for long. I had my pride, Arnav."

Arnav looked at her, his eyes warm. 

"Your pride," he agreed. "Do you know, that's what I fell for in the first place, my love. Do you remember the day you came to my office with that letter from your father.  I think I fell in love with you that day itself. To be exact, when I asked you if they were your real father and brother. You looked at me, with tears in your eyes, but you didn't cry. You didn't break down. You held yourself together, looked straight at me, and said that you had asked yourself that question many times. Oh, Khushi, I can't begin to tell you what went through my mind at that moment."

He turned and pulled her into his arms. Khushi went into them, her brain whirling, trying to comprehend what he was saying. He held her tight, as he went on.

"You were so proud, so dignified, yet so small, so hurt and alone. I wanted to take you into my arms, to hold you and protect you, so that nobody could bring that look into your eyes again. I think I tumbled headlong into love with you that very night itself, only I didn’t even know it then. I just knew that I couldn’t let you go out of my life. Hearing about what you did for a living – that you were a psychologist, a counsellor - that was like a gift from above. I realized I could use that to bring you into my house, but I had to sort out how. I came back and talked to Shantitai – told her that I’d met a girl who could look after Radhika. Before I could say much, she told me very firmly that Radhika didn’t need another teacher or governess, but a mother, and the best thing I could do was to get married. It was like a light bulb going off. It was then that I decided to marry you.”

“You loved me then?” she whispered unbelievingly. “Arnav … but then, why … why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you … when you’d just told me that you were in love with another man?” asked Arnav wryly. “If you had your pride, I had mine, Khushi! Besides … I don’t think I knew it consciously. I just knew that you were someone very special. And then you told me about Aman, and it was like a cold shower. I knew I would have to wait for you to get over him. I was sure you would, but I also knew that after all the knocks you’d faced in life, I couldn’t push you till you were ready. Hence the bargain marriage.

"You love me?" She whispered slowly, unbelievingly. "Arnav, you really love me?"

He looked at her lovingly. "Didn't I just show you?"

"But Lavanya ..?" She began, and he shook his head. "Realisation time for me too, Khushi," he admitted. "When she left last year, I was upset, but not devastated. I thought ... when I had the strength to think about it ... that is was because my life had fallen apart in so many other ways, that Lavanya's going seemed the smallest of the tragedies. But whenever I thought about your leaving, I realised that would tear me apart ... in a way Lavanya's going never had. I love you, Khushi ... I can't dream of a life without you. My love ... my best friend ... my counsellor, my guide ... you're everything I need, my darling. You're my world, Khushi. 

He cupped her face in his hands, looking deep into her eyes, his thumbs tracing the soft skin of her jaw gently. 

"I love you," he whispered again.

Khushi blushed deeply at the slow fire in his eyes. A curling well of happiness seemed to start deep inside her, bathing her from head to toe. Her hands came up to hold the lean fingers cupping her face. 

"You love me," she said again. She looked at him, stars in her eyes. "I'm dreaming this. Am I? Tell me, please. No, don't tell me. If it's a dream, I don't want to wake up. I never want to wake up," fiercely.

Arnav held her tenderly. "I'm changing the terms of our bargain," he said, tenderly, lovingly. "I told you it would be for a year, maybe two. I'm changing that to a lifetime. I need a lifetime of healing and loving from you, and so does this house, and family. How about it, Khushi? Are you ready for a lifelong job?"

Her answer was in her eyes, as she held him tightly.

*****

They slept again, they woke, cuddled close in each others' arms, smiling, engulfed in a deep sense of happiness and contentment. Arnav was late for office that morning, but he finally pulled himself away from Khushi's smiling face with a promise to return early. 

"We have a visit to make this evening," he reminded her before he left, and saw her face cloud over with nervousness. 

"What if ..."

"Khushi, no if's and but's," he told her sternly. "They have reached out, give them a chance. You have nothing to lose, and a whole new family to gain. I don't know why I'm doing this, though," he added mischievously. "It would be great for me if you had no 'maayka'. You could never threaten to leave me when we fight. Maybe we'll call off that visit after all."

She threw a cushion at him, and laughed, the clouds vanishing from her face. Arnav went off, happy that her mood was lightened, his job accomplished. His Khushi was khush. All was well with his world.  

Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 41

Chapter 41

The old man stopped. He looked at Khushi.

“So now you know," he said, sadly. "You are not my daughter, but I have been a better father to you than that rascal your mother married. He ran off, and never came back. If it hadn't been for your brother … Shyam's …" he corrected himself "…greed, none of this would have happened. You had simple habits, so had I. I was happy with the stipend I got from your grandfather - it made life comfortable. I didn't want more, didn't ask for more. Only Shyam did. And that was what …"

He sighed heavily, and stopped.

Mahendra Shah leaned forward. "I would like to know one more thing," he said, quietly. "Mayur Singh only sent the money. Who sent the clothes, and the foodstuffs? All the extras? Someone who knew exactly where Khushi was all these years."

"I did," said a small voice, and Khushi saw it came from the old lady, who had accompanied Vijay Dhawan. Mahendra Shah looked at her for the first time, and his jaw dropped.

"Prayukta?!!"

The old lady nodded. 

"Yes, bhai sahib," she said. She was dressed simply, but carried herself with a great deal of dignity. "I am Prayukta. I always kept track of where my granddaughter was. It wasn't difficult. My husband wanted nothing to do with her, but when Garima died, I forced him to provide for her as best we could. We had enough money, and anyway, whatever we had was for her. I sent clothes and sweets for her, but without his knowledge. I made sure she had everything she needed. But I was afraid that if I tried to contact her, he would get annoyed and stop even that, and I wanted to make sure Khushi was comfortable. I had to stay away, make no contact. So I didn't know how happy or unhappy she was. My lawyer reported when she went to school, and then college, that she looked well, happy, and that was enough for me. My husband let news leak out that we were both dead, so that Shashi would not try to trace us. He never, ever forgave Garima. And because of his harshness, I was deprived of my only child for so many years. Till this man …” she looked at Vijay Dhawan, “traced us, and I forced Mayur to let me come here."

The old lady got up with difficulty, and came towards Khushi.

"You are so much like my Garima," she said, softly, her eyes wet, her wrinkled face sorrowful. "If it had not been for my husband’s wretched Rajput pride, we could have had the joy of having you in our lives these last years."

She cupped Khushi's face with her hands, and Khushi looked at her wonderingly.

"You … you are my …?"

"I'm your grandmother, my dear child," said the old woman softly, and reached out to Khushi, and hugged her. Khushi submitted and then drew back.

"You really are my grandmother?" she asked, softly, unbelievingly.

Arnav smiled at her. "Yes, she is, and your grandfather is alive, as well, so you have a family, Khushi. A family of your own …”

Khushi looked at him. Her eyes were blank.

The police inspector cleared his throat.

“Excuse me, sir,” he said hesitantly. “We need to take this man in. Do you want to press charges? You’ll have to come to the police station with us, sir.”

Arnav looked at Khushi, taking her her blank face, her empty eyes. “Khushi doesn’t need to come, does she?” he asked the inspector harshly, and the inspector shook his head.

“Not unless she’s the one pressing charges,” he replied. “But you can do all that for her. You’re her husband, so …”

Arnav nodded.

“I’ll come with you,” he said briefly. “Akash, take Khushi home. She’s had a shock. Look after her, okay?”

He came close to Khushi and spoke in a low voice.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said urgently. “Khushi, wait for me. I'll be home soon. Okay?”

She nodded dumbly, still in a state of shock, and he cupped her face in his hands as he looked at her. He kissed her gently on the forehead.

“Wait for me,” he said again. Akash came forward and gently took Khushi’s hand.

“Shall we go, bhabhi?” he asked, and Khushi nodded again. She didn't look at her grandmother. Akash led her out, exchanging a look with Arnav as he left.

Arnav turned to the others.

“Ma’am,” he said courteously to the old lady. “If you would come with us … it would be a big help.”

She nodded, her face sorrowful as she looked after the departing Khushi.

***********                                                                                  ******************                                                                                            *************

By the time Arnav got back home, it was late. Akash had taken his responsibility very seriously and hadn’t left Khushi alone for a minute. Arnav returned to find Akash and Radhika playing a noisy game of Ludo in his room. Khushi was sitting on the sofa, her knees huddled to her chest, watching them.  

Akash looked up as Arnav entered.

“You’re back!” he exclaimed thankfully. “All done, bhai?”

Arnav nodded.

“It’s all over,” he said gently, looking at the silent figure on the sofa. “Shyam is behind bars – for the moment. He didn't do anything criminal, he bent the law, but didn't actually break it. But he knows his game is up, and there’s nothing more he can do. Let him – let them both - get a good scare. Tomorrow I’ll make a bargain with him. If they want their stipend to continue, he and his father will return to Nasik by the morning train – and stay there. Khushi can decide how much she wants to let them in her life after this.”

He came closer to Khushi.

“Your grandmother wants to see you,” he said gently. “I promised her I’ll bring you over tomorrow. Will you come with me?”

She nodded, still not looking at him. He sighed and looked at Akash. Interpreting the look correctly, Akash got up and hoisted Radhika into his arms.

“Come on, baby,” he told her. “Tonight you have a special treat! I’m going to tell you your story and put you to bed.”

“I want badi mummy,” Radhika objected, and tried to wriggle down from his lap. Arnav came to her.

“Badi mummy’s not well tonight,” he said gently. “Just for tonight, will you make do with chachu?”

Radhika looked at Khushi, evidently making up her mind. Then she nodded.

“Okay,” she agreed. “Bade papa, you put badi mummy to bed then. Good night, mummy. Get well soon – I only like your stories.”

She planted a big kiss on Khushi’s cheek and Khushi looked at her with haunted eyes. Fortunately, Radhika didn’t notice. She let Akash pick her up again and carry her out of the room, talking all the way.

“Chachu, you have to tell me the story properly, the way badi mummy does. With all the voices …” her voice tailed off as Akash shut the door behind him.

Arnav sat down close to Khushi and put his arm around her shoulders.

“It really is all over, sweetheart,” he said again gently. “Khushi? Won’t you say something? You never have to go back to them again. The house is yours, everything is yours, including the money. And you have a family – a real family, who really loves you, who wants to know you. Even your grandfather, Khushi - I met him at the police station. He regrets all these years he stayed away from you, he regrets that he sent your mother away all those years ago.  His pride was hurting him, but it's broken now. They both want to meet you. You never have to feel alone again.”

She looked at him then, her eyes still haunted. He hated that look.

“Khushi,” he said urgently. “Khushi, say something, please. I know all this has come as a shock to you. I wanted to tell you, but I was waiting till I found out the whole truth myself. Are you so upset? Tell me, sweetheart. Talk to me.”

She shook her head slowly and he held her closer, fiercely, her head against his chest.

“Say something,” he urged desperately. “Khushi, I can’t stand your silence. Tell me what you’re feeling. You told me once I shouldn’t keep my feelings bottled up. Then why are you doing the same thing? Cry, shout, scream … do something, Khushi. Tell me what you’re feeling. I need to know – did I do the right thing by finding them or not.”

He felt her shudder against him and lifted her face to his. Her cheeks were wet.   

“What I’m feeling?” she whispered. “I don’t even know myself what I’m feeling, Arnav. I feel like one of those people who lose their memory and their whole past is a complete blank. I feel like that – as though all my past life is a blank. It’s been one big lie, a gigantic untruth. I don’t even know who I am any more. Earlier I thought I belonged to them, and I used to wonder why they never cared for me. Now I know why … I don’t belong to them at all. I never did. That’s why they never loved me. And neither did my own grandparents – or my father. Did anyone ever love me at all? Or was I one big mistake? Why did I even come into this world, Arnav?”

He ached for her. He held her close, as though he wanted to absorb all her hurt, her pain into himself.

“Oh sweetheart,” he whispered, his fingers wiping her tears gently. “Don’t feel that way. Your grandparents will love you … when they come to know you. Your mother loved you – I’m sure of that. And … we all …”

She shook her head and stood up stiffly, moving out of his arms. Slowly she moved to the glass door of the terrace. She looked small and alone, desolate in her hurt. He watched her, and his heart broke for her.

“You have a family,” he whispered. “A family of your own. They will love you, Khushi.”

"A family," she repeated. There was a break in her voice. "A family of my own. A family is ties of blood ... but blood ties weren't enough for my grandparents, not even for my own father. And maybe not for my mother either. Strangers took her in, strangers took me in and cared for me ... true they were paid, but they took care of me ... your family took me in and accepted me, you brought me here for them true, but they accepted me ... but my own family ..."

Her voice broke. She turned to him.

"Am I so difficult to love?" she whispered. 

Arnav's throat ached with the tears he was holding back. Khushi had had a shock and it had shaken her to her deepest foundations. 

"Khushi ..." he whispered. "Khushi, don't say that. This is your family too ... and we all love you ... you know that." 

She didn’t seem to hear him.

“Why did you do all this, Arnav?” she asked, looking out through the glass into the terrace outside. “Was it just because you felt sorry for me? You pitied me? Did you want to make sure that I had someone when I left here? Or …”

She never finished. He came up behind her and pulled her around to face him, his fingers hard on her skin.

"No," he said firmly, looking into her eyes. "Look at me, Khushi. It was none of those reasons. Feel sorry for you?! Khushi, you are one of the bravest, most loving, most generous people I know ... I admire you, I respect you ... and I don't feel sorry for you in the least. I did this because I didn't want you to feel alone ever again in your life. I did this because I want you to know how special you are." 

He cupped her face with his hands. His voice dropped.

"I did this," he  continued softly, "because I cannot stand to see a single tear in your eyes. I can't stand to see you unhappy."

His fingers traced softly over her cheeks, wiping the dampness. 

"I did this," he continued even more softly, as Khushi stared at him, the blankness in her eyes fading, replaced by something else, warmth curling through her body, replacing the chill that had enveloped it since the afternoon. . "I did this ... because you always felt smaller, inferior in this relationship ... and I don't want you to feel that way ever. I did this because you always think I want you to leave ... and I want to show you that even though you have a place to go ... you also have a place to stay ... for ever."   

His fingers traced her lips. Khushi couldn't tear her eyes from his. Of her own volition, her hands came up to his shoulders, her fingers caressing his shirt. 

“Do you really not know why I did this for you?” he asked softly, his eyes blazing down at her. “You think it was because I felt sorry for you? Pity? Oh, Khushi, you fool! You stupid, stupid darling fool.”

He pulled her hard into his arms and brought his lips down to hers, at first gently, and then, as the dam of his long suppressed emotions burst, fiercely. For a moment, she stood unbelieving, unresponding, and then with a small moan, she threw her arms around him, and kissed him back as fiercely as he was kissing her. And that broke the control he had kept over himself for so many weeks and months. Fiercely, kissing her still, he lifted her into his arms, carried her to the bed, and switched off the light. And she … she kissed him back, hungrily, almost desperately, as though his kisses, his touch were her life’s breath, her reason for living. Her last coherent thought was that she had always known … when Arnav pushed the boundaries, she would not be able to … would not want to … stop him.

And then she stopped thinking completely, lost only in feeling … in loving …