Chapter 30
When Arnav came in to dinner, he had showered and changed, his wet hair slicked back from his face. The family was already seated at the dining table, and looked up as he made his entrance.
"Bath? At this time?" asked his father, surprised, and Arnav nodded, trying his best to look noncommittal.
"It's hot," he said, by way of explanation. "I needed a cold shower."
He could have bitten his tongue out at his choice of words. He looked at Khushi, expecting a look of annoyance or reproach. He wondered if she had felt his arousal in those few moments upstairs, and was wary of what her response would be. He had no doubt that she would be annoyed or worse, even upset. Their bargain had definitely not included any physical relationship, and though those few moments upstairs had been innocent on her part, his response had been anything but innocent.
Khushi wasn't looking at him. She was very carefully concentrating serving his niece the vegetables, but he could have sworn her color was high. As he looked at her, she suddenly looked at him, her teeth biting her lower lip, and equally quickly, looked away again. And this time he wasn't mistaken. Her color was definitely high, her cheeks a delicate shade of rose pink.
Arnav started eating his dinner thoughtfully. There had been no annoyance in that look, no upset. Far from it. So what did that mean? Or am I just being hopeful? He asked himself, and absently passed his brother the salt when he asked for the pickle.
"Arnav bhai? Where are you lost?" Akash asked, surprised. "I wanted the pickle!"
His father chuckled. "That's the sort of thing you normally do, young man," he laughed. "Daydreaming is your forte, especially at the dining table."
"Yes, but I'm …" Akash started, and then stopped. He looked at his brother, his gaze searching. And then, he kept quiet, and finished his meal with a big grin on his face, which remained there throughout the meal, mischief in the looks he threw his brother and Khushi.
"What is wrong with you, Akash?" asked Khushi finally. "Can you please wipe that big grin off your face? What is so funny anyway?"
Akash grinned wider. "Nothing, bhabhi," he said, innocently, and Khushi gave up. She tried to answer young Radhika's questions, but her mind was wandering. Every time she looked at Arnav, he seemed to be looking at her, and it was doing hell for her equilibrium. Especially after those few moments in his arms upstairs. Even thinking of them made her feel warm all over. Their fight, their argument over Aman and the scene in the garden was forgotten, her whole being lost in the memory of those moments, the feel, the touch of him ...
She concentrated on Radhika and steadfastly refused to look at Arnav any more throughout the meal.
"You still have your numbers homework to finish," she reminded the child. "We'll sit down after dinner and finish it. Your TV went on too long this evening. From tomorrow, no more TV during the week. Only on weekends. We’ll play outside on the swings in the fresh air in the evening – that will be much more fun. And too much TV makes you look so pale and tired."
"Yes, badi mummy," Radhika said, obediently, and continued eating. Khushi looked at the little girl, her heart going out to her. She was so small and scared. The sudden death of her parents in the accident had scarred her psyche badly. It wasn't normal for a girl of this age to be so quiet, so obedient, she thought sadly. Arnav was right. There were a lot of responsibilities in this house.
She bent and kissed Radhika softly on the head, her gesture so spontaneous it even took her by surprise. Slowly this family had wound their way, individually and collectively into her heart. Radhika looked at her in surprise, and she smiled at her.
"Don't worry, darling," she said, lovingly. "I'll help you with your work. We'll have it done in no time. And we'll have an extra long story session tonight, because you got extra homework today."
Radhika beamed at Khushi. "Really?! What fun! I love your stories, badi mummy! Thank you!" She reached up to kiss her back.
"But I think badi mummy is right," said Arnav, from the head of the table. "No TV during the week, young lady. You get too tired, and it's a problem with your work. I’ll tell you what … how about we all go to the waterpark this weekend? I’ll take you."
"You will?" cried the little girl, obviously thrilled, and Arnav smiled at her.
"Yes, I will. Now finish your dinner and badi mummy will help you with your numbers."
Radhika went on with her food in an obviously happier frame of mind, and Khushi saw her father-in-law looking approvingly at her. She smiled back at him, picked up his pills and showed them to him. His smile changed to a frown.
"Khushi, for heavens' sake,…"
"Papaji, you're getting forgetful," she chided gently, and he smiled again, unwillingly.
"Those damn pills," he grumbled. "I always swore I'd never take pills in my life. I'd rather die than be dependent on these silly things."
"If you don't take them, you probably would get your wish," Arnav reminded him. "But, for our sakes, I'd rather you didn't go anywhere. Not just yet."
His father grinned suddenly.
"No, I won't," he promised. "I have a few things to see to, yet."
"Oh? Like what?" asked Akash, grinning again. "Are you hoping for the patter of tiny feet, dad?"
His father frowned at him. "No, the patter of big ones," he responded, ungrammatically. "In chains, that too. You finish your college, lad, without flunking out, that is, and I'll tie you down to a nice girl so fast, you won't have time to show me those big teeth of yours. Then I'll see how you stay out so late at night the way you do these days."
Akash promptly looked suitably chastened and his father chuckled.
"That is not to say," he continued, apparently addressing the ceiling, "that I will not welcome the patter of tiny feet, of course."
Khushi blushed again, but Arnav was calm.
"Yes, dad, point noted. Now could I have some rice, please?"
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A few days later -
Akash raced into the kitchen, where Khushi was busy with something. Radhika was with her as usual, and he loped around them, snatching at a savoury, deftly avoiding Khushi, as she tried to keep the plate away from him.
"Go and wash, Akash! These are for dinner! Akash! Go away!"
He picked up the hot, just fried pakoras, and dropped them back equally swiftly, nursing his finger.
"Ow! It's hot!"
"What do you expect?" Khushi retorted. She took his hand, soothed his burnt finger. Then she relented, and pushed two cooler ones at him. "Here! Take this and go! Always hungry! Don't eat too much. They're for dinner, and they're your brother's favorites."
He made a face at her.
"Yes, of course, always his favourite things for him. When are you going to make my favorite things, bhabhi?"
She made a face back.
"I won't make things for you!" she mocked. "Get your own wife into this house, and she can do some work. Feeding you is going to be a full time job, as it is! Since you've started working at the office, you feel even hungrier than you did before. I feel sorry for her already."
He laughed. "That will take some time! Which poor soul is going to agree to marry me? There's a shortage of crazy girls out there!"
She looked at him, and then continued her work, keeping her tone casual, laughing.
“Why? Look at that pretty friend of yours, Shivanya - she's certainly crazy enough. It would be nice if she came here to help me with your favourite things. You've known her for long enough, she must know more about you than I do. Speaking of Shivanya, I haven't seen her for quite a few days, Akash. I would have thought that after your exams finished, you would be out with her every day."
Akash's mood changed abruptly. He put the second pakora into his mouth, and turned away.
"I'm busy," he said shortly. "I have to help Arnav bhai at the office now. He's carried all the responsibility for too long. Now that my studies are finished, I can help him. I don't have time to go out."
Khushi looked at him carefully.
"You're not that busy, Akash. Or you shouldn't be anyway. And you have the evenings to go out. Evening is the time for romance, isn't it? You work all day, you haven't even taken a break after your exams ended, why don't you take some time off? Spend time with her."
Akash sat down heavily on a kitchen chair. He looked at Khushi, a mixture of sadness and determination in his eyes.
"Bhabhi," he said, heavily. "Please don't talk about her. She's a closed chapter. She's going to be off to America with her sister. I don't know her plans, and I don't want to know them."
"You like her, don't you, Akash?" asked Khushi gently. "Is it more than just liking? Tell me truthfully, Akash."
He looked down at his hands, and then back at Khushi. She came to him and held his hands between hers.
"Tell me, Akash. You would have told your mother if she had been here, wouldn't you? Let me in, Akash. I want you to be happy, you know that. Do you like her?"
His hands moved in hers, twisted, and held hers back. He looked at her, his eyes showing his conflict.
"I did like Shivi, bhabhi. I'm not going to lie. I did ... maybe I still do. But after Lavanya ... and what she did ... I don't trust Shivi. Arnav bhai held this family together when Mom went ... then you came and you helped him. But me ... I didn't do anything to help. After the accident, we all needed to pull together, and I pulled apart. I took long enough to grow up and see sense. I don't want to do anything to tear us apart again, bhabhi. Half the family went in one stroke ... the rest need to be together now. Shivi will join her sister in America. My life is here."
"Your brother wants you to go to America," said Khushi, softly. "You know that, don't you? He wants you to do your MBA, before you settle down to work full-time. Maybe you can do what he had thought of doing earlier, stay in America, and build up the business there. Then you can be with Shivanya there."
He shook his head with more determination.
"I don't want to be with Shivi there." he said firmly. "That is out of the question, bhabhi. And if that's what you and bhai are thinking, then forget it. Shivi is over, finished, bhabhi. Anyone who puts themselves before family, cannot belong in this house. And I will not go to America. My place is here, with you. I will not leave the family and go anywhere. If Shivi wants to go with Lavanya, she is welcome to go. I'm not interested."
Khushi went up to him, gently, and held his hands.
"Akash, listen to me," she began. "How do you know what Shivi wants to do? Have you asked her? Akash, don't throw love away - it's too precious. I've seen love in that girl's eyes. She loves you very much."
"Bhabhi," Akash said, firmly. "That may be what she says now. Lavanya also said she loved Arnav bhai. You know that, don't you? But her love was selfish. She wanted to take him away from all of us, when he was needed here. And Shivi is her sister. No thanks, bhabhi. These girls only think about themselves and what they want, not about anybody else. Selfishness runs in their family. And that’s not the kind of girl I can love, or be with. I won't take the chance. No, bhabhi, forget Shivi."
"You don't know that she is like her sister," said Khushi, gently. "Her choices may be different. And Akash … maybe Lavanya and Arnav weren’t meant for each other … but maybe Shivanya and you are. Give her a chance. Maybe her choices are different from her sister’s."
Akash shook his head. "How can that be, bhabhi? How can it be that in the same family, two sisters can have different thoughts?"
“They can, Akash,” Khushi said, turning away, the faces of her father and brother rising to her mind. She had managed to almost forget them for so long, she marveled … but was Akash right? She had always felt herself to be so different from them … but was she really? She hoped so, she hoped so fervently, she thought. She couldn’t imagine them in this family, in these surroundings, whereas she … she felt she would lose her life’s breath if she had to leave here … when she had to leave here, she corrected herself dully. She turned to Akash again.
“They can be different,” she said again, and her tone was half-pleading. “Please Akash, give her a chance.”
He looked at her, puzzled by the emotion in her voice. "Bhabhi?"
She put her hands around his face.
"One chance, Akash?" she asked softly. "You owe her that much. She has done a lot for you over the last few months, she’s been there for you all the time … why would she have done that if she didn’t love you? care for you? It took just one phone call from me, and she was here. Ask her what she feels, what she wants. Don't assume things, or you may regret it later. You call me bhabhi, don't you? Then treat me like your bhabhi, listen to me and do me this favour, please, Akash."
He held her hands in his own, his face gentle as he looked at her.
"Bhabhi?"
She shook her head at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears. He held her close.
"Please, bhabhi, please don't cry. I promise, I'll do as you say. I've given you too many tears already, I don’t want to give you any more."
She held him tightly, but the tears were not for him. I see my job coming to an end, she thought, miserably. I seem to have succeeded too well. If Shivanya is back in Akash’s life, and maybe in this house, he won’t need me any more. Then maybe Lavanya will reconsider her own decision as well, and I will have to leave. This family will be complete again, and there will be no place for me in it.
