Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 26

Chapter 26 

Khushi was sitting on the bed, her knees drawn up and her head resting on them when Arnav entered their room. He looked at her, white sari crumpled, hair tangled, her cheeks tear stained, and sighed. Gently he closed the door and walked to her.

She felt the bed creak and give way as he sat down close to her. He smoothed her hair gently, stroking it away from her face.

She sniffed inelegantly, and sat up. Wordlessly, he put his arm around her and held her close. She snuggled against him, and like a child, swiped at her tears with her fists. Arnav put his hand under her chin and lifted her face to face him. She looked at him sadly.

"I've failed with Akash," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Arnav. No matter what, he'll never accept anyone in your mother's place. He's still hurting, he's still not healing. I thought he was healing, Arnav. He started going to college, he's taking his exams, he's even started going out with his friends. But he's not doing it because he's healing. He's doing it because he hates me. That's not what I had to do. What can I do, Arnav? What more can I do?"

Arnav sighed.

"Don't torture yourself," he said gently. "You haven't failed, Khushi. He's carrying the biggest burden, remember? One of guilt, with his sorrow. He was driving the second car, he feels responsible, at least partly, for whatever happened, and that's what is making it more difficult for him to forget, more than dad or Radhika. And at least, now he accepts Shantitai - earlier, even she was pushed away, because she tried to take mummy's place. Give him some more time. And just keep doing what you’re already doing. He needs it – he doesn’t know it, but he needs you."

Khushi shook her head and moved away from Arnav’s confining arm. He looked at her steadily.

"It's just been a few months, Khushi. Do you remember what I said when I asked you to do this? I said it might take six months, a year, even two. I'm ready to wait, Khushi. This ... what he's at ... where he is now ... this is a hundred times better that what he was a year ago. I've seen the worst of Akash, Khushi ... believe me, you've achieved a lot already. Give him time."

Khushi looked at Arnav unsteadily.

"And you? Are you ready to wait? To keep your own life on hold indefinitely? Arnav ..."

He looked away, his face changing, his eyes cooling.

"This is my life, Khushi. My life's not on hold. A lot changed a year ago and my life changed too. I'm not on hold. I've just taken a different path. Akash has to do the same ... and he has to understand that. He still has a lot of growing up to do. But he'll get there." 

Khushi swallowed, and looked away from him. A different path. A path away from the girl he loved, a path which he shared with a contract wife. A temporary wife. But maybe Akash needed someone else.    

“Maybe,” she said slowly, not looking at Arnav, her voice not very steady, “maybe … if Lavanya was here …”

Arnav interrupted her harshly.

“That’s not going to happen,” he said, and his voice was hard, unforgiving. She clenched her hands on the bedspread, trying to stop their trembling. She had to say this - he had brought her here to do a job – she had to do it to the best of her ability.

“It might help Akash …” she tried again, and Arnav stood up abruptly, his anger now palpable.

“I said – it’s not going to happen. Leave it, Khushi. Akash needs more time. That’s all. He needs you. No one else. And even if he does … Lavanya’s not coming back. That chapter is over.”

His voice was as icy as it had been the first time she had met him, though his anger wasn’t directed at her this time. What had happened between him and Lavanya, she wondered miserably? They had been missing the latter part of the evening, after the prayer meeting - she had noticed. Akash had just confirmed it, had taken pleasure in implying that Arnav and Lavanya were still as close as before. And one part of her had been terrified that Arnav would come back and tell her that her job was over, that the original claimant to her place was back. From Arnav's mood, his tone, it was obvious that a reconciliation had not happened. But did he want it to? 

Still, she didn’t dare to say more. She looked miserably down at the bedspread, knotted and creased under her nervous fingers, and gave a start of surprise when his hand covered hers. Gently. Startled, she looked up – straight into his hazel eyes close to hers. They were soft, understanding - the ice had faded.

“Give him some more time,” he said gently, softly, his anger gone, and gave her a half-smile. “And cut yourself some slack too – okay?”

She nodded, smiling nervously back. He was very close, she could feel his warm breath on her face, and her wretched heart quickened in response. Her face flushed, and her eyes dropped. She felt him look at her for a long moment, then he stepped back.

"I think you promised to show a certain little girl some stars," he told her. "Shall we go down?"

 ******

Later at night, Khushi tucked Radhika into bed, and sat till the little girl fell asleep. Then she slowly walked down the corridors, her steps automatically taking her past Akash's room, as they had every night the last few months.

His door was open, unusual for him. She stopped indecisively, then hesitantly peeped in.

The room was empty. The bed was neat - he hadn't been to bed yet. Books and papers were strewn across his table, as though he had been studying, but there was no one there.

Where is he, she thought frantically. Tomorrow is his last exam, he should be here, studying. Is he still upset about this afternoon?

She walked in, looked around. Empty. The windows leading into the garden were locked. The bathroom was empty. Hurriedly, nervously, she checked everywhere, then, hands trembling, she quickened her pace out of the room, back into the corridor. Where was he? She had to call Arnav.

She half walked, half ran into the corridor, and then stopped dead. There, standing looking steadily at her, arms folded across his chest, a somber look on his face, was Akash.

"Where… where … were you?" she whispered. "I got so worried … it's late, and your last exam is tomorrow …"

"I couldn't study," he replied, quietly, unfolding his arms and coming towards her. "I was sleepy, and tired, and hungry. Shantitai didn't get my coffee yet, so I went to look for you. Bhabhi, I'm very hungry. Please get me something to eat?"

She stood frozen to the spot as he came up to her. It was the first time he had called her that. Behind him, Arnav emerged from his study, saw Akash and stopped dead. Akash came up to Khushi, took her hands in his own, and looked at her.

"Khushi bhabhi, please?" he asked again, and held her hands together in his own, holding them folded between his, in an unspoken gesture of apology and pleading. 

Khushi nodded unsteadily, her lips curved in a trembling smile. Akash looked at her, his eyes moist, and he held her hands tighter still. 

"I'm sorry ..." he whispered with difficulty. "I'm really sor ..."

She stopped him with a finger and a shake of her head. Her eyes met Arnav's, and she smiled through her tears, as he smiled back.

 ***************************************

A few days later 

The phone shrilled, its ring breaking the stillness of the afternoon. Khushi, passing by, nearly jumped out of her skin at the suddenness of the sound. Smiling at her own foolishness, she moved to pick up the phone. She had to juggle the papers she was carrying in order to pick up the receiver, and Arnav, sitting in his room upstairs, frowned at the continuing ring. He picked up the phone just as Khushi spoke into the receiver with a slightly breathless "Hello?"

Arnav grimaced and made to put down the phone. His hand stayed where it was at the sound of the voice at the other end.

"Hello, Khushi?"

"Aman?!" exclaimed Khushi. "What are you …? Why are you calling me here? I've told you not to call me at home! Call me in the hospital!"

"I know," said Aman, "but this was urgent, Khushi. I need to see you. Anjali seems to have found out about …"

Khushi gave a muffled exclamation and interrupted him.

"I'll meet you tomorrow afternoon at the hospital," she said, rapidly. "3 o'clock. I can't talk now."

She put the phone down, and Arnav slowly disconnected it at the extension, his brow furrowed into a grim scowl.

 *******

The next day, Arnav and Vijay Dhawan went to Khushi's old house. All the rooms were open, so were the cupboards, so going through the few things there was no problem. Khushi had packed away most of the things before her marriage anyway. The two men searched through what had been Khushi's brother's room, and then through Khushi's father's room.

Tucked away in a small drawer in Khushi’s father’s room, was a family photograph. Arnav looked at a much younger, smarter version of Khushi's father. Drink and debauchery and time had taken their toll, he thought. The man in the photograph was barely recognizable in the haggard, unkempt face of the man he remembered meeting here, not so long ago.

Arnav looked again at the photograph. There was a little boy, about three or four years old standing next to the man, wide-eyed and innocent, dressed neatly in a simple T shirt and shorts. Next to him was a young woman who could only have been Khushi's mother.

Arnav drew in his breath sharply. The resemblance was uncanny - it was like looking like Khushi herself. The woman must have been about the same age as Khushi was now, he thought, and he looked at the little baby girl in her arms with amusement. She was round and fair and adorable. Her grandfather must have been hardhearted in the extreme to have turned away that little doll, he thought, grimly, and gave the photograph to Vijay.

"You look through the rest of the place," he said, rapidly. "Look for papers, birth certificates, oh, anything. I'll be in the office. I'll wait for you. Go to their bank manager too - here's the name of the bank they used. Try to get their bank statements, deposits, anything which shows where they were making their money. Especially any education funds for Khushi or her brother."

The other man nodded, and Arnav left.