Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 41

Chapter 41

The old man stopped. He looked at Khushi.

“So now you know," he said, sadly. "You are not my daughter, but I have been a better father to you than that rascal your mother married. He ran off, and never came back. If it hadn't been for your brother … Shyam's …" he corrected himself "…greed, none of this would have happened. You had simple habits, so had I. I was happy with the stipend I got from your grandfather - it made life comfortable. I didn't want more, didn't ask for more. Only Shyam did. And that was what …"

He sighed heavily, and stopped.

Mahendra Shah leaned forward. "I would like to know one more thing," he said, quietly. "Mayur Singh only sent the money. Who sent the clothes, and the foodstuffs? All the extras? Someone who knew exactly where Khushi was all these years."

"I did," said a small voice, and Khushi saw it came from the old lady, who had accompanied Vijay Dhawan. Mahendra Shah looked at her for the first time, and his jaw dropped.

"Prayukta?!!"

The old lady nodded. 

"Yes, bhai sahib," she said. She was dressed simply, but carried herself with a great deal of dignity. "I am Prayukta. I always kept track of where my granddaughter was. It wasn't difficult. My husband wanted nothing to do with her, but when Garima died, I forced him to provide for her as best we could. We had enough money, and anyway, whatever we had was for her. I sent clothes and sweets for her, but without his knowledge. I made sure she had everything she needed. But I was afraid that if I tried to contact her, he would get annoyed and stop even that, and I wanted to make sure Khushi was comfortable. I had to stay away, make no contact. So I didn't know how happy or unhappy she was. My lawyer reported when she went to school, and then college, that she looked well, happy, and that was enough for me. My husband let news leak out that we were both dead, so that Shashi would not try to trace us. He never, ever forgave Garima. And because of his harshness, I was deprived of my only child for so many years. Till this man …” she looked at Vijay Dhawan, “traced us, and I forced Mayur to let me come here."

The old lady got up with difficulty, and came towards Khushi.

"You are so much like my Garima," she said, softly, her eyes wet, her wrinkled face sorrowful. "If it had not been for my husband’s wretched Rajput pride, we could have had the joy of having you in our lives these last years."

She cupped Khushi's face with her hands, and Khushi looked at her wonderingly.

"You … you are my …?"

"I'm your grandmother, my dear child," said the old woman softly, and reached out to Khushi, and hugged her. Khushi submitted and then drew back.

"You really are my grandmother?" she asked, softly, unbelievingly.

Arnav smiled at her. "Yes, she is, and your grandfather is alive, as well, so you have a family, Khushi. A family of your own …”

Khushi looked at him. Her eyes were blank.

The police inspector cleared his throat.

“Excuse me, sir,” he said hesitantly. “We need to take this man in. Do you want to press charges? You’ll have to come to the police station with us, sir.”

Arnav looked at Khushi, taking her her blank face, her empty eyes. “Khushi doesn’t need to come, does she?” he asked the inspector harshly, and the inspector shook his head.

“Not unless she’s the one pressing charges,” he replied. “But you can do all that for her. You’re her husband, so …”

Arnav nodded.

“I’ll come with you,” he said briefly. “Akash, take Khushi home. She’s had a shock. Look after her, okay?”

He came close to Khushi and spoke in a low voice.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said urgently. “Khushi, wait for me. I'll be home soon. Okay?”

She nodded dumbly, still in a state of shock, and he cupped her face in his hands as he looked at her. He kissed her gently on the forehead.

“Wait for me,” he said again. Akash came forward and gently took Khushi’s hand.

“Shall we go, bhabhi?” he asked, and Khushi nodded again. She didn't look at her grandmother. Akash led her out, exchanging a look with Arnav as he left.

Arnav turned to the others.

“Ma’am,” he said courteously to the old lady. “If you would come with us … it would be a big help.”

She nodded, her face sorrowful as she looked after the departing Khushi.

***********                                                                                  ******************                                                                                            *************

By the time Arnav got back home, it was late. Akash had taken his responsibility very seriously and hadn’t left Khushi alone for a minute. Arnav returned to find Akash and Radhika playing a noisy game of Ludo in his room. Khushi was sitting on the sofa, her knees huddled to her chest, watching them.  

Akash looked up as Arnav entered.

“You’re back!” he exclaimed thankfully. “All done, bhai?”

Arnav nodded.

“It’s all over,” he said gently, looking at the silent figure on the sofa. “Shyam is behind bars – for the moment. He didn't do anything criminal, he bent the law, but didn't actually break it. But he knows his game is up, and there’s nothing more he can do. Let him – let them both - get a good scare. Tomorrow I’ll make a bargain with him. If they want their stipend to continue, he and his father will return to Nasik by the morning train – and stay there. Khushi can decide how much she wants to let them in her life after this.”

He came closer to Khushi.

“Your grandmother wants to see you,” he said gently. “I promised her I’ll bring you over tomorrow. Will you come with me?”

She nodded, still not looking at him. He sighed and looked at Akash. Interpreting the look correctly, Akash got up and hoisted Radhika into his arms.

“Come on, baby,” he told her. “Tonight you have a special treat! I’m going to tell you your story and put you to bed.”

“I want badi mummy,” Radhika objected, and tried to wriggle down from his lap. Arnav came to her.

“Badi mummy’s not well tonight,” he said gently. “Just for tonight, will you make do with chachu?”

Radhika looked at Khushi, evidently making up her mind. Then she nodded.

“Okay,” she agreed. “Bade papa, you put badi mummy to bed then. Good night, mummy. Get well soon – I only like your stories.”

She planted a big kiss on Khushi’s cheek and Khushi looked at her with haunted eyes. Fortunately, Radhika didn’t notice. She let Akash pick her up again and carry her out of the room, talking all the way.

“Chachu, you have to tell me the story properly, the way badi mummy does. With all the voices …” her voice tailed off as Akash shut the door behind him.

Arnav sat down close to Khushi and put his arm around her shoulders.

“It really is all over, sweetheart,” he said again gently. “Khushi? Won’t you say something? You never have to go back to them again. The house is yours, everything is yours, including the money. And you have a family – a real family, who really loves you, who wants to know you. Even your grandfather, Khushi - I met him at the police station. He regrets all these years he stayed away from you, he regrets that he sent your mother away all those years ago.  His pride was hurting him, but it's broken now. They both want to meet you. You never have to feel alone again.”

She looked at him then, her eyes still haunted. He hated that look.

“Khushi,” he said urgently. “Khushi, say something, please. I know all this has come as a shock to you. I wanted to tell you, but I was waiting till I found out the whole truth myself. Are you so upset? Tell me, sweetheart. Talk to me.”

She shook her head slowly and he held her closer, fiercely, her head against his chest.

“Say something,” he urged desperately. “Khushi, I can’t stand your silence. Tell me what you’re feeling. You told me once I shouldn’t keep my feelings bottled up. Then why are you doing the same thing? Cry, shout, scream … do something, Khushi. Tell me what you’re feeling. I need to know – did I do the right thing by finding them or not.”

He felt her shudder against him and lifted her face to his. Her cheeks were wet.   

“What I’m feeling?” she whispered. “I don’t even know myself what I’m feeling, Arnav. I feel like one of those people who lose their memory and their whole past is a complete blank. I feel like that – as though all my past life is a blank. It’s been one big lie, a gigantic untruth. I don’t even know who I am any more. Earlier I thought I belonged to them, and I used to wonder why they never cared for me. Now I know why … I don’t belong to them at all. I never did. That’s why they never loved me. And neither did my own grandparents – or my father. Did anyone ever love me at all? Or was I one big mistake? Why did I even come into this world, Arnav?”

He ached for her. He held her close, as though he wanted to absorb all her hurt, her pain into himself.

“Oh sweetheart,” he whispered, his fingers wiping her tears gently. “Don’t feel that way. Your grandparents will love you … when they come to know you. Your mother loved you – I’m sure of that. And … we all …”

She shook her head and stood up stiffly, moving out of his arms. Slowly she moved to the glass door of the terrace. She looked small and alone, desolate in her hurt. He watched her, and his heart broke for her.

“You have a family,” he whispered. “A family of your own. They will love you, Khushi.”

"A family," she repeated. There was a break in her voice. "A family of my own. A family is ties of blood ... but blood ties weren't enough for my grandparents, not even for my own father. And maybe not for my mother either. Strangers took her in, strangers took me in and cared for me ... true they were paid, but they took care of me ... your family took me in and accepted me, you brought me here for them true, but they accepted me ... but my own family ..."

Her voice broke. She turned to him.

"Am I so difficult to love?" she whispered. 

Arnav's throat ached with the tears he was holding back. Khushi had had a shock and it had shaken her to her deepest foundations. 

"Khushi ..." he whispered. "Khushi, don't say that. This is your family too ... and we all love you ... you know that." 

She didn’t seem to hear him.

“Why did you do all this, Arnav?” she asked, looking out through the glass into the terrace outside. “Was it just because you felt sorry for me? You pitied me? Did you want to make sure that I had someone when I left here? Or …”

She never finished. He came up behind her and pulled her around to face him, his fingers hard on her skin.

"No," he said firmly, looking into her eyes. "Look at me, Khushi. It was none of those reasons. Feel sorry for you?! Khushi, you are one of the bravest, most loving, most generous people I know ... I admire you, I respect you ... and I don't feel sorry for you in the least. I did this because I didn't want you to feel alone ever again in your life. I did this because I want you to know how special you are." 

He cupped her face with his hands. His voice dropped.

"I did this," he  continued softly, "because I cannot stand to see a single tear in your eyes. I can't stand to see you unhappy."

His fingers traced softly over her cheeks, wiping the dampness. 

"I did this," he continued even more softly, as Khushi stared at him, the blankness in her eyes fading, replaced by something else, warmth curling through her body, replacing the chill that had enveloped it since the afternoon. . "I did this ... because you always felt smaller, inferior in this relationship ... and I don't want you to feel that way ever. I did this because you always think I want you to leave ... and I want to show you that even though you have a place to go ... you also have a place to stay ... for ever."   

His fingers traced her lips. Khushi couldn't tear her eyes from his. Of her own volition, her hands came up to his shoulders, her fingers caressing his shirt. 

“Do you really not know why I did this for you?” he asked softly, his eyes blazing down at her. “You think it was because I felt sorry for you? Pity? Oh, Khushi, you fool! You stupid, stupid darling fool.”

He pulled her hard into his arms and brought his lips down to hers, at first gently, and then, as the dam of his long suppressed emotions burst, fiercely. For a moment, she stood unbelieving, unresponding, and then with a small moan, she threw her arms around him, and kissed him back as fiercely as he was kissing her. And that broke the control he had kept over himself for so many weeks and months. Fiercely, kissing her still, he lifted her into his arms, carried her to the bed, and switched off the light. And she … she kissed him back, hungrily, almost desperately, as though his kisses, his touch were her life’s breath, her reason for living. Her last coherent thought was that she had always known … when Arnav pushed the boundaries, she would not be able to … would not want to … stop him.

And then she stopped thinking completely, lost only in feeling … in loving …