Kaisey Yeh Rishtey - 42

Chapter 42

Khushi woke up a few hours later, stretching sleepily.

It was still dark, the sky pitch black outside. For a brief moment, she wondered where she was, an unfamiliar weight over her waist pressing her down. She moved slightly, wincing at the soreness she felt, and the weight moved, pulling her closer – Arnav’s arm across her as he pulled her to him in his sleep, and the events of the last day – and night – came flooding back. A deep red stained her cheeks, as she remembered … the darkness hid her blushes as she tried to free herself. She had said a lot, she remembered, as the memory of her own voice came back to her, and she tried to move away from his restraining arm.

But Arnav wasn’t having any of it. Even in sleep, he seemed to sense her movements. He pulled her closer to him again.

“Where are you going?” he muttered sleepily.

Khushi blushed again in the dark.

“I … I …”

Arnav reached out to switch on the bedside light and looked at her in the soft glow. A small satisfied smile grew on his face as he watched her go pink.

“Did you know you go bright pink when you blush?” he murmured teasingly, putting out a gentle finger to her cheek. “Will you always blush like this when I look at you? Especially after we …”

Khushi went pinker still and he gave a low chuckle.

“You’re not going anywhere now, Khushi” he said softly, sobering. “You know that, don’t you? Do you still not understand why I did what I did? Why I wanted to find your family – your real family? Why I wanted to make sure that you would never feel alone or unloved again in your life? Do you still not understand, Khushi?”

This time it was she who came back into his arms, who held on to him as tightly as she could.

“I thought … I thought it was because you wanted me to go … you still love Lavanya …” she began, and he shook her slightly.

“Then you’re a fool,” he told her firmly, smiling. “if you can still think that … after last night especially ...”

She blushed again and hid her face against his chest. He lifted it with a gentle finger.

“Oh no, you don’t,” he told her, smiling still, but with a look in his eyes which made her feel warm all over. “First you say it again … what you said last night …”

"What I said, when?" she asked, shyly. "I seem to remember saying a lot of things, which I'm not sure you wanted to hear."

"I want to hear everything you have to say," he returned, "but for the moment, three small ... but very important ... words will do."

Khushi looked up at him shyly, slowly letting a small flame of hope flicker into life inside her.

"I love you," she said, softly, hesitantly. "I know it wasn't part of the bargain, but I love you, Arnav. I fell in love with you a long time back, Arnav. I don't even remember how long back."

He let out a long breath he hadn’t even realized he had been holding. He looked at her mock-severely.

“Do you realize,” he asked sternly, his eyes gleaming, “… just how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you? You’ve led me quite a dance, sweetheart. And given me heartburn in the process. When I saw you with Aman that day … I could have killed …”

Khushi burrowed her head against him again.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Arnav, you were right about Aman. I don’t think I was ever in love with him. It was just as you said. I was sorry for him and I admired the way he looked after his wife, with so much love and care. I envied that love, I wanted it for myself. But I didn't love him. I never did, not the way I love you.”

He held her close, a feeling of thankfulness sweeping over him, so grateful that he didn’t realize he hadn’t told her … yet. She looked up at him, alarmed at his silence.

"Arnav?" she said, tentatively.  "Arnav, please say something. You're not angry or upset, are you? I promise you it doesn't change anything. I'm not asking for your love, I promise I won't demand anything. I'll stay, or go away, whatever you want. You found a home for me, after all. But I can't hide it any more. I don't want to hide it any more."

He looked at her. "Khushi, when did you fall in love with me?"

Khushi was startled. That wasn't what she was expecting.

"I don't know," she said, carefully, thoughtfully. "I can't remember when I started loving you. It just happened. I knew the day you got angry when you saw me with Aman, I knew I was already in love with you, so I didn't feel upset or guilty that you had seen me. He had just told me that he loved Anjali, that he would never leave her … and I … told him that I didn’t love him because I …”

"You told him that day?" asked Arnav, mock-angrily. "The day I almost killed him for holding your hands in a very public place? Khushi, you do choose your moments, don't you? You told him, but you didn't tell me?"

Khushi looked at him warily, then relaxed at the glint in his eyes. 

"I should have told you," she agreed naughtily. "If his life had really been in danger, I would have had to. But then you didn't try to kill him after all, so I figured it could wait." 

He shook his head at her, and kissed her hand. 

"Besides," Khushi continued with some spirit, "You had Lavanya flitting around you, trying to worm her way back into your life. Telling me in every which way she could, that she had a history with you, which might not remain history for long. I had my pride, Arnav."

Arnav looked at her, his eyes warm. 

"Your pride," he agreed. "Do you know, that's what I fell for in the first place, my love. Do you remember the day you came to my office with that letter from your father.  I think I fell in love with you that day itself. To be exact, when I asked you if they were your real father and brother. You looked at me, with tears in your eyes, but you didn't cry. You didn't break down. You held yourself together, looked straight at me, and said that you had asked yourself that question many times. Oh, Khushi, I can't begin to tell you what went through my mind at that moment."

He turned and pulled her into his arms. Khushi went into them, her brain whirling, trying to comprehend what he was saying. He held her tight, as he went on.

"You were so proud, so dignified, yet so small, so hurt and alone. I wanted to take you into my arms, to hold you and protect you, so that nobody could bring that look into your eyes again. I think I tumbled headlong into love with you that very night itself, only I didn’t even know it then. I just knew that I couldn’t let you go out of my life. Hearing about what you did for a living – that you were a psychologist, a counsellor - that was like a gift from above. I realized I could use that to bring you into my house, but I had to sort out how. I came back and talked to Shantitai – told her that I’d met a girl who could look after Radhika. Before I could say much, she told me very firmly that Radhika didn’t need another teacher or governess, but a mother, and the best thing I could do was to get married. It was like a light bulb going off. It was then that I decided to marry you.”

“You loved me then?” she whispered unbelievingly. “Arnav … but then, why … why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you … when you’d just told me that you were in love with another man?” asked Arnav wryly. “If you had your pride, I had mine, Khushi! Besides … I don’t think I knew it consciously. I just knew that you were someone very special. And then you told me about Aman, and it was like a cold shower. I knew I would have to wait for you to get over him. I was sure you would, but I also knew that after all the knocks you’d faced in life, I couldn’t push you till you were ready. Hence the bargain marriage.

"You love me?" She whispered slowly, unbelievingly. "Arnav, you really love me?"

He looked at her lovingly. "Didn't I just show you?"

"But Lavanya ..?" She began, and he shook his head. "Realisation time for me too, Khushi," he admitted. "When she left last year, I was upset, but not devastated. I thought ... when I had the strength to think about it ... that is was because my life had fallen apart in so many other ways, that Lavanya's going seemed the smallest of the tragedies. But whenever I thought about your leaving, I realised that would tear me apart ... in a way Lavanya's going never had. I love you, Khushi ... I can't dream of a life without you. My love ... my best friend ... my counsellor, my guide ... you're everything I need, my darling. You're my world, Khushi. 

He cupped her face in his hands, looking deep into her eyes, his thumbs tracing the soft skin of her jaw gently. 

"I love you," he whispered again.

Khushi blushed deeply at the slow fire in his eyes. A curling well of happiness seemed to start deep inside her, bathing her from head to toe. Her hands came up to hold the lean fingers cupping her face. 

"You love me," she said again. She looked at him, stars in her eyes. "I'm dreaming this. Am I? Tell me, please. No, don't tell me. If it's a dream, I don't want to wake up. I never want to wake up," fiercely.

Arnav held her tenderly. "I'm changing the terms of our bargain," he said, tenderly, lovingly. "I told you it would be for a year, maybe two. I'm changing that to a lifetime. I need a lifetime of healing and loving from you, and so does this house, and family. How about it, Khushi? Are you ready for a lifelong job?"

Her answer was in her eyes, as she held him tightly.

*****

They slept again, they woke, cuddled close in each others' arms, smiling, engulfed in a deep sense of happiness and contentment. Arnav was late for office that morning, but he finally pulled himself away from Khushi's smiling face with a promise to return early. 

"We have a visit to make this evening," he reminded her before he left, and saw her face cloud over with nervousness. 

"What if ..."

"Khushi, no if's and but's," he told her sternly. "They have reached out, give them a chance. You have nothing to lose, and a whole new family to gain. I don't know why I'm doing this, though," he added mischievously. "It would be great for me if you had no 'maayka'. You could never threaten to leave me when we fight. Maybe we'll call off that visit after all."

She threw a cushion at him, and laughed, the clouds vanishing from her face. Arnav went off, happy that her mood was lightened, his job accomplished. His Khushi was khush. All was well with his world.